Hi Everybody...i am just taking time off from work to tell you all that i am still alive and living!!!....
i am so sorry that sometimes i don't reply sms or phone calls...cause now 24 hours seems to fly away each day....from the starting of work...there would be "hundreds" of questions shooting at me...via email...phone..and not to forget the long line outside my office door....!
Yes...i have since came back from Korea trip and is dying to write about it....or even tell people about it.....!! i had reallly a mind changing trip there....but ever since i touch down from korea...i haven't have time to sit and relax.....it's like being wash by the strong currents of work and family matters....
so above all...!! God is Great...and i am still wandering the road of destiny....!! Be blessed!!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
a handfull of friendship....
as i ponder...i hope i have a handfull of friends that i can count on....
*obviously....selalu dipengaruhi oleh cerita2 "karut" korea hahahhaha....i am in the midst of watching "a gentlement's dignity....." maybe to some it's not really a good story...but somehow..it made me ponder and made my heart "jitters" (is it wat you call when you feel something tingling in a sad way in your heart)
to make story short...it's about a bunch of guys who are best friends and who have been through lots together....it's kinda romantic Com actually..makes you cry and laugh at the same time.... as i am towards the ending of the drama....made me think ...do i really have this handfull of people who will be at my side during sunshine or even when storms comes...and even if my world fall... and will i be that little handfull as a friend to someone....as we get older....or advancement in the age we are in...things tends to pile up...responsibility increases....people around us get older and weaker....and we ourself become weaker in body..
as friends when we laugh we laugh together...but hopefully as a friend when you cry i can't cry for you but maybe make stupid jokes to cheer you up even though i know that even i would not laugh...and when a friend feels the weight of the world on his or her shoulders...not that i can take tat away but maybe just listening and being there would make the heart feel better even if it is for a second....
there was a time when i had a conversation with a friend that if anything was to happen to her family i promise that i will be there to rush to her side....as i watch the drama...when one of them was at the most grieving time...the rest rush to his side despite knowing the consequenses as they help him dress up for his wife's funeral....!! how much i hope that we would never face things in our life as hard as this...but can't deny things are goin to happen and things will happen...may it be death..marriage..birth...sickness...wealth...promotion...new job...
as for the long raya break...i was with families...and some i have not seen for years...i realised that i really have grown older and should be wiser...at times people put high hope on us...we should be able to live up to expectation...
i was back for my maternal great grandmother's 100th Birthday..and they keep saying that she has live thru 3 big World Wars....as i look at her and she still can recognize me as i walk in the ballroom...i was touch...(as a big drama i will always be like a star LOL as usually i was late for the party because of my flight delay...but as i walk in they said she recognize me instantly...!) despite the last minute thngy to attend..i was glad i rush back...afterall how many family member will celebrate the 100th with you...!it was a good time catching up with families...and as usuall when family come together soalan bonus mesti di tanya...as usuall i would say on the way...LOL...
the youngest decendant and the 5th generation who will be celebrating her 1st Birthday next month...
*obviously....selalu dipengaruhi oleh cerita2 "karut" korea hahahhaha....i am in the midst of watching "a gentlement's dignity....." maybe to some it's not really a good story...but somehow..it made me ponder and made my heart "jitters" (is it wat you call when you feel something tingling in a sad way in your heart)
to make story short...it's about a bunch of guys who are best friends and who have been through lots together....it's kinda romantic Com actually..makes you cry and laugh at the same time.... as i am towards the ending of the drama....made me think ...do i really have this handfull of people who will be at my side during sunshine or even when storms comes...and even if my world fall... and will i be that little handfull as a friend to someone....as we get older....or advancement in the age we are in...things tends to pile up...responsibility increases....people around us get older and weaker....and we ourself become weaker in body..
as friends when we laugh we laugh together...but hopefully as a friend when you cry i can't cry for you but maybe make stupid jokes to cheer you up even though i know that even i would not laugh...and when a friend feels the weight of the world on his or her shoulders...not that i can take tat away but maybe just listening and being there would make the heart feel better even if it is for a second....
there was a time when i had a conversation with a friend that if anything was to happen to her family i promise that i will be there to rush to her side....as i watch the drama...when one of them was at the most grieving time...the rest rush to his side despite knowing the consequenses as they help him dress up for his wife's funeral....!! how much i hope that we would never face things in our life as hard as this...but can't deny things are goin to happen and things will happen...may it be death..marriage..birth...sickness...wealth...promotion...new job...
as for the long raya break...i was with families...and some i have not seen for years...i realised that i really have grown older and should be wiser...at times people put high hope on us...we should be able to live up to expectation...
i was back for my maternal great grandmother's 100th Birthday..and they keep saying that she has live thru 3 big World Wars....as i look at her and she still can recognize me as i walk in the ballroom...i was touch...(as a big drama i will always be like a star LOL as usually i was late for the party because of my flight delay...but as i walk in they said she recognize me instantly...!) despite the last minute thngy to attend..i was glad i rush back...afterall how many family member will celebrate the 100th with you...!it was a good time catching up with families...and as usuall when family come together soalan bonus mesti di tanya...as usuall i would say on the way...LOL...
birthday girl saying a prayer before blowing her birthday candles...'
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Life that should have been...!
the more i am reminded about what my faith is all about...and about the person that i put my trust or rather should put my utmost trust in...the more i realise that i have been slacking away and wasting my life worrying about things that i shouldn't be...
a simple reminder was given this morning in church that i realise that at times we should go back to basics...on really recalling the first encounter...!and in everything we should put our total trust in Him that holds our future....
been spending time with the family...and still trying to get use to being "single" and to a status being "family"...as i hear the elders speak..i realise that how our God is funny in a way He makes our life a long winding journey...yesterday was being a chaffeur of a granduncle and grandauntie...hearing them say how great God is to them that they never thought that they will be able to travel at an old age...(togou if you're reading this...remember the nenek yg masak sup ayam sedap itu??)......they were saying it was a blessing being able to still meet us as they are getting old and weak...i secretly dry my tears away...it's the time i at the my age having to think about how if things turn to the worst....how i remember when i was young...they use to look after me...and how i know the old folks spend time to pray for us the younger generations... off our daily life...for i know it was their prayer that God showed His mercy...
heartnote:*Tuhan bagi ku masa utk membalas dan menjaga org2 tua ku....!just a little while more....
a simple reminder was given this morning in church that i realise that at times we should go back to basics...on really recalling the first encounter...!and in everything we should put our total trust in Him that holds our future....
been spending time with the family...and still trying to get use to being "single" and to a status being "family"...as i hear the elders speak..i realise that how our God is funny in a way He makes our life a long winding journey...yesterday was being a chaffeur of a granduncle and grandauntie...hearing them say how great God is to them that they never thought that they will be able to travel at an old age...(togou if you're reading this...remember the nenek yg masak sup ayam sedap itu??)......they were saying it was a blessing being able to still meet us as they are getting old and weak...i secretly dry my tears away...it's the time i at the my age having to think about how if things turn to the worst....how i remember when i was young...they use to look after me...and how i know the old folks spend time to pray for us the younger generations... off our daily life...for i know it was their prayer that God showed His mercy...
heartnote:*Tuhan bagi ku masa utk membalas dan menjaga org2 tua ku....!just a little while more....
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Maggie Kari at 3.30am
it's 3.30 in the morning and i have a sudden craving off maggie kari with kimchi!! oh noss.....but no no no ...i can't..... this few days i have this weird habit of waking up in the wee hours and can;t get back to sleep....the worst things are the craving of food!!...haish...do you tend to get fat having cravings hahahaha...!!
today is my last day in the office before moving to the new place...!!ho ho ho...never thought it would only last for 1 year 1 month and 1 day....(rasa macam mo p beli 4d)..but all is well...i learned many things...
*oh ya..i am proud of myself of having a ticketless year of driving...for the first time since i got geri!! it has been 3 years..and it marked the years that my kaibigans and me started travelling out of the country...!! fuh guys...we have gone lots of places together huh? everytime i see my car thats what it reminds me off...starting of the chops in our passports!! long way to go to see the world...!!cheers...many more to go k....!( be it in group or individually)....keep on growing and never stop!! LOL
today is my last day in the office before moving to the new place...!!ho ho ho...never thought it would only last for 1 year 1 month and 1 day....(rasa macam mo p beli 4d)..but all is well...i learned many things...
*oh ya..i am proud of myself of having a ticketless year of driving...for the first time since i got geri!! it has been 3 years..and it marked the years that my kaibigans and me started travelling out of the country...!! fuh guys...we have gone lots of places together huh? everytime i see my car thats what it reminds me off...starting of the chops in our passports!! long way to go to see the world...!!cheers...many more to go k....!( be it in group or individually)....keep on growing and never stop!! LOL
Friday, June 15, 2012
when it gets hard to give thanks....
thing that i am sure that most of usney of have been through a phase that we just can't seem to see the bright side about anything we do or anything that we are going through...there are times that it feels like a journey in the desert...but as the saying goes...one must go through the desert to realise their own potentials...and see the real "tujuan hidup"....
as time goes..as i walk thru the soil of droughts....i realise somethings....i realise i have somethings that God had given to me that i took for granted...
i love this pic above....while taking this,my heart was moved....and there was a tear in my eyes that i pretended that there was dust in it....this was when i realised that who good God has been to me to have given me such great parents...who are imperfect in their own ways but the imperfectness makes them special....indeed i know sometimes they just can't stand each other but i know they need each other so much everyday in their life....this holiday trip together with them this time made me realise that i have not spend enough time with them and have not make enough afford to make them happy...
this trip was a diffrent one ..and i think i really was transparent to them about how life has been...how hard work has been...how faith is taking a toil in life...and they too told about how life was hard when they were young...i could see how much they sacrifice to put me through school....college... uni....
being with the family for a while made me taking God on how He has blessed my life through little things...
but all is well in His time....and i realised how wonderfull He has been to me...as i walk thru this life whether it will be a lonely journey, i will have to remind myself to consult Him for the map of life....
and as i live life as it is...i want to be able to know that i came to this world with nothing...and everything i own belongs is given by Him...
i had fun with the whole family being here...and it made me realise how blessed i am....even though i might not have a penny in my wallet...but i can't doubt the blessings God has provided me....
*reminder to self...do not doubt the richness of the Creator..for everything is in His hands....!!
as time goes..as i walk thru the soil of droughts....i realise somethings....i realise i have somethings that God had given to me that i took for granted...
this trip was a diffrent one ..and i think i really was transparent to them about how life has been...how hard work has been...how faith is taking a toil in life...and they too told about how life was hard when they were young...i could see how much they sacrifice to put me through school....college... uni....
being with the family for a while made me taking God on how He has blessed my life through little things...
*knp lah perut ku nampak buncits sini??!!! its' not like tat in real life!!! hahahahha (tetiba spoil mood post ni)
as i prepared for this trip i realise that it took a reversal role...it was me looking after them...it was my turn to prepare everything..it was my turn to worry about stuffs...financially...bookings...security??!! hehe
but all is well in His time....and i realised how wonderfull He has been to me...as i walk thru this life whether it will be a lonely journey, i will have to remind myself to consult Him for the map of life....
this little beauty was scared of me when she was here...but she got used to me the last day they were here...nyeh and it was time for them to leave....this shows how little time i had with the family at home...i must make time..!
*reminder to self...do not doubt the richness of the Creator..for everything is in His hands....!!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Moving again!
after 1 year 1 month and 1 day...!
finally i am moving again....
pray for the best....
i am tired d
Saturday, June 9, 2012
the grass across the fence always seems to be greener..
when you come to think of it...you can't help but to always think that the person next to you is always luckier...!it might seems to be...but is it really?
having 2 weeks of "break" from the real world ...and ending it with a lonely heart... makes me think which life is my "real" life..if given a choice i would not have choosen this path...
but smua dalam tangan Dia dan Dia yg menjaga...right? this is the part yang susah mo instill in ones heart...even if we tell ourself over and over again ....once in a while there are cracks in our heart that give way....
really thinking and trying to plan whats the next step in life is really a hard thing to do when you're stuck!...having gone thru half of this year...i have decided to dedicate the next 6 months to just believing that He will lead and guide...and i just have to really trust...put my trust in Him...and just live life as it is the last...! Just Do it!!!
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after spending time with the parents and family...i realise that i am really missing out on lot's of things...and slacking too on being responsible...so i must step up and run full speed ahead!!...tapi ENJOY pasti tetap...!! Jollie pun patut tetaps juga...!!
having 2 weeks of "break" from the real world ...and ending it with a lonely heart... makes me think which life is my "real" life..if given a choice i would not have choosen this path...
but smua dalam tangan Dia dan Dia yg menjaga...right? this is the part yang susah mo instill in ones heart...even if we tell ourself over and over again ....once in a while there are cracks in our heart that give way....
really thinking and trying to plan whats the next step in life is really a hard thing to do when you're stuck!...having gone thru half of this year...i have decided to dedicate the next 6 months to just believing that He will lead and guide...and i just have to really trust...put my trust in Him...and just live life as it is the last...! Just Do it!!!
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after spending time with the parents and family...i realise that i am really missing out on lot's of things...and slacking too on being responsible...so i must step up and run full speed ahead!!...tapi ENJOY pasti tetap...!! Jollie pun patut tetaps juga...!!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Trying to imitate!
last saturday i was having this crazy craving....but was trying to stop myself ....!!!
but anyway...i decided to creat an imitation of what i wanted to eat....!
i was craving the lipat atas...ahahah foldo-ver lah..!
so i went to supermarket near my house and got some things and started creating....! it was really easy..and extra yummylicious cos i knew what was in my food...i love lot's of fresh vege so i put extra!!!
and then tadaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....!
it's a new day.. a new week...picking myself up..after overloaded of food during the weekend....i had a full laksa sunday yesterday....i cook up a huge pot of laksa soup so i went to puan and encik's house to share with them for lunch that was after i had a huge bowl ok laksa myself at home...and we had laksa for dinner too....then lepaks2 until midnite last nite...! then woke up today saying haiyahhhhhhhh...and singing Again and Again...!! 2pm hehee
have a nice day peeps!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i know i should take care of my language...!!
i just got back from a meeting where someone told me i am moving to a new place.....and the reason they are moving me is because the place has a well known indian boss well know of his strictness and notorious ways that people cannot stand........and they think that i...a non...would be able to work with him....WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFISSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stupidos locos people of this prominent race!!!!!!!!!!!!! came on lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....cari lah alasan lainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...........!!!what the watttttttttttttttttttttttttttt...........i just hate this country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hate it so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
one thing about this F%^&$*&* place is when you are being move around so much they tend to say that you are the problem thats why you move so much....!!!!!bastardsssssssssssss
i just got back from a meeting where someone told me i am moving to a new place.....and the reason they are moving me is because the place has a well known indian boss well know of his strictness and notorious ways that people cannot stand........and they think that i...a non...would be able to work with him....WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFISSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stupidos locos people of this prominent race!!!!!!!!!!!!! came on lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....cari lah alasan lainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...........!!!what the watttttttttttttttttttttttttttt...........i just hate this country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hate it so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
one thing about this F%^&$*&* place is when you are being move around so much they tend to say that you are the problem thats why you move so much....!!!!!bastardsssssssssssss
the feelings i miss...
i want to wake up in the morning missing You,
i want to breath knowing that You are watching over me....
i want to know that my heartbeats because of You..
i want to complain of everything knowing that You are listening...
i want to know that is it You that assure me everything will be fine....
i want to complain of everything knowing that You are listening...
i want to know that is it You that assure me everything will be fine....
i want to go to sleep telling You everything of the day...
i just want to feel the feeling knowing that You are always near....
how i miss these feelings.....
how i miss these feelings.....
Monday, May 7, 2012
Friends and Acquaintance...
Synonyms
1. Acquaintance, associate, companion, friend refer to a person with whom one is in contact.
An acquaintance is someone recognized by sight or someone known, though not intimately: a casual acquaintance.
An associate is a person who is often in one's company, usually because of some work, enterprise, or pursuit in common: a business associate.
A companion is a person who shares one's activities, fate, or condition: a traveling companion; companion in despair.
A friend is a person with whom one is on intimate terms and for whom one feels a warm affection: a trusted friend. 3. familiarity, awareness.
i just came back from lepaking with friends that i have long known each other...as we talked...i realise that we didn't really know each other very well during our study times....and we knew each other from other friends who we were close with....and as years goes by we became friends...and one of them even became "substitute bestie"(statement gilaberanimati)...
as we talk about some things...and some things that were unknown to me...and suddenly i don't know why i got a little upset after knowing...and as i drove home alone...i really realize that it bothered me...until i thought of doing things eg. unfriend dari FB (lame joke...) no lah...not that extreme......!
don't get me wrong i did enjoy my nite out tonite...but just i was a little upset of some things about other "people"....
and i start to think who are my acquaintance? associate? companion? and Friend....in my mind i sorted names....and wish life was like FB where you can sort people....where you can even block..hide and even restrict....and sometimes stalk...but as time goes by...i believe that certain people have certain preference...certain people have different ways...and different asumptions....and to this point i am telling myself to grow up and let not be little things put me down...now i know why the phrase "ambil yg jernih buang yg keruh" comes around....
heartnote:i realise i have a small heart when it comes to being a friend...but i wish to have a big heart to stay a loyal friend......
Cool day to sleep in today....
this morning was a cool day to sleep in...because of the rain early this morning....how i wish i could just sleep in today....
pic taken from national geography today from FB....when i saw this my heart just melted..! wish i could just lie in bed today.......
serupa kah??? LOL ...
just wanted to make everybody smile today...!! wishing you all a great monday and not a moanday....!
Hidup ini perlu bekerja keras supaya dapat duit untuk berjolly bersama kawan2 dan supaya dapat makan yang sedap2.....!!!
gilamatirindu sama my friends today....wishing for a time to lepak sampai tidak sedar diri!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
MAYDAY...MAydayyyy....HELP HELP!!
Sigh.....can you believe it it's the month of May already...!! i am still feeling that i am stuck in January....!! WTH...! can someone please stall the clock!!!...pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!
in a midst of still looking for direction of life for the year 2012....i realise that my life has gone no where!!! no goal...no life...no nothing!! liessssssss....have..have...got problems..got things to think about...lots!! loadsssss....endless....
this morning i woke up to find this on someones FB...
somehow this song touch my heart...really...there are times for so many things....there are times to even have doubts....Pada Waktunya.....
on the way to work this morning i was asking...is there such person in this world that in his or her lifetime had decided to follow Him have his/her life in according to His plans has a smooth life?? i doubt it.... but as the song goes
You spent you life looking for
The one thing that makes it all
Worth all the tears that fall
Walking down on this road
Moving on stepping forward
Althought it’s not that easy
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah pada waktunya
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah pada waktunya
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Pada waktunya
it's has been a long,long time since i heard the word "Just keep pressing on..."i remember when we were "kids" during the TSL days...i always hear these few words from people...those simple words lifted up the heart...and soul too....
so well guys...what ever it is that is troubling you and me....what ever direction our life is going...even if it's on a endless path...or harewire....
let's press on n Keep Moving....
in a midst of still looking for direction of life for the year 2012....i realise that my life has gone no where!!! no goal...no life...no nothing!! liessssssss....have..have...got problems..got things to think about...lots!! loadsssss....endless....
this morning i woke up to find this on someones FB...
on the way to work this morning i was asking...is there such person in this world that in his or her lifetime had decided to follow Him have his/her life in according to His plans has a smooth life?? i doubt it.... but as the song goes
You spent you life looking for
The one thing that makes it all
Worth all the tears that fall
Walking down on this road
Moving on stepping forward
Althought it’s not that easy
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah pada waktunya
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah
Ada waktu untuk menangis
Tuk tertawa, tuk bertahan saja
Ada waktu untuk menunggu, tuk percaya
Bahwa semua akan indah pada waktunya
Just keep holding on
Just keep pressing on
Just keep moving on
Pada waktunya
it's has been a long,long time since i heard the word "Just keep pressing on..."i remember when we were "kids" during the TSL days...i always hear these few words from people...those simple words lifted up the heart...and soul too....
so well guys...what ever it is that is troubling you and me....what ever direction our life is going...even if it's on a endless path...or harewire....
let's press on n Keep Moving....
Monday, April 30, 2012
medicine for the missing heart...
a few weeks ago i posted in my FB that i was missing my mom's kimchi....
last night the bro.came back and brought me a huge tub of kimchi from mom.....
even though it was a simple gesture but man....you don't know how much it pricked the heart....i could feel my tear ducs wanting to burst into floods of tears....i was really missing home this few days...and just wish i could just leave on the next plane home...maybe it's just the time of the month when all emotions rush by you..and you just simply feel life sucks....!!and you wish that you were someone else or somewhere else....so a simple tub of kimchi didn't help much to solve the worlds problem...but it showed how much a mom thinks of her child in a simple way...(looks like i will have a feast/rally of kimchi dishes for the whole month LOL)
Hearing news about what happened during the weekend...(got to admit i didn;t even know about a thing about the CLEAN!!...until someone buzz me on FB asking me if i was wearing a yellow shirt....and i didn't bother to even check why...!
oh well the earth will keep moving even if our heart stop...even if we decide to give up....even if we decide to friend or not friend a person in FB (hahaha wat a joke)...i learned that at the age i am...i couldn't be bothered with childish acts...and what happen around me doesn't make me happier so what the heck..(i know my attitude stinks...) oh well...this is life... you can't care about everything...!
Heartnote:sometimes it's nice living in a cocoon....
last night the bro.came back and brought me a huge tub of kimchi from mom.....
even though it was a simple gesture but man....you don't know how much it pricked the heart....i could feel my tear ducs wanting to burst into floods of tears....i was really missing home this few days...and just wish i could just leave on the next plane home...maybe it's just the time of the month when all emotions rush by you..and you just simply feel life sucks....!!and you wish that you were someone else or somewhere else....so a simple tub of kimchi didn't help much to solve the worlds problem...but it showed how much a mom thinks of her child in a simple way...(looks like i will have a feast/rally of kimchi dishes for the whole month LOL)
Hearing news about what happened during the weekend...(got to admit i didn;t even know about a thing about the CLEAN!!...until someone buzz me on FB asking me if i was wearing a yellow shirt....and i didn't bother to even check why...!
oh well the earth will keep moving even if our heart stop...even if we decide to give up....even if we decide to friend or not friend a person in FB (hahaha wat a joke)...i learned that at the age i am...i couldn't be bothered with childish acts...and what happen around me doesn't make me happier so what the heck..(i know my attitude stinks...) oh well...this is life... you can't care about everything...!
Heartnote:sometimes it's nice living in a cocoon....
Thursday, April 26, 2012
When you follow Him...
It is known that when you have decided to follow Him.. there is a price to pay...there is a high price that you need to know if you have decided to pick up the yoke...and He too paid a great price for us...was wandering of the phrase High Price..."orang kata ikut Dia ada harga yang tinggi perlu dibayar". not talking about money as physically....giving time,giving our total desire and thoughts to Him...
this few days i have been working my ass off (pardon my language) planning a seminar which is call a crashing aeroplane...!!i had to pick up from some geniuses who gave me 2 weeks with nothing!! and today is the day...!yesterday was havoc where nothing was right...but i knew the day would come when i would be push around and when the day had come i will push away...biasalah hidup ini begitu...i was so busy that i didn't have time to get upset...and something just click in my mind..Tiapa..semua ini bagi Dia..Do my best for Him and it'll be just fine...! as i got home last nite..i was thinking if being me doing my best...Do i have to slave around for those PEOPLE???who on the day would show up in front of big bosses that they did everything when they didn't do a thing???it came to a degree that i felt like what a unlucky dog i am born to a unknown family,born to a low race...born to country who despise ur religion!...(i know i know ..same kind of stupid question...i was asking God too if You want the best from me can i just not be working with people who threat me like rubbish...!still having no idea why...but at the end of the day i felt proud that i was able to do lot's myself...and achieve lots this few days..contacting people...talking to people...even getting scolded...but never mine it's all fine....
so even if i have to lower the price of myself to get things done...even to the point of begging...as long as i know i did my best...for Him ...i will be fine....! on and on this pain goes on in this place..but i will be fine..as long as i know...the best has yet to come...
handling this seminar...i found out how low people can be to get what they want...how low they can make themself when they are desperate....how they bow to people that they think will bring them up to higher places....when those big guns are just the same ...
and here is me...who only has one thing in my mind....Thank You Lord for this job which you give me to put food on my table....! (i am trying so hard to remind myself about this)
even if the even is today...i just leave it to Him...even if i get scolded when things go wrong...i know i have done well myself...i know i did everything the best....
being positive in thoughts does really helps..and it helps me to be sane even in the insane times...!
i might not be a Prof next time...neither might i ever be a Dato' i just want to stay a child of God always clinging to Him...that is what that matters...
heartnote:This world does not give us happiness...and eternal life...but He does!
this few days i have been working my ass off (pardon my language) planning a seminar which is call a crashing aeroplane...!!i had to pick up from some geniuses who gave me 2 weeks with nothing!! and today is the day...!yesterday was havoc where nothing was right...but i knew the day would come when i would be push around and when the day had come i will push away...biasalah hidup ini begitu...i was so busy that i didn't have time to get upset...and something just click in my mind..Tiapa..semua ini bagi Dia..Do my best for Him and it'll be just fine...! as i got home last nite..i was thinking if being me doing my best...Do i have to slave around for those PEOPLE???who on the day would show up in front of big bosses that they did everything when they didn't do a thing???it came to a degree that i felt like what a unlucky dog i am born to a unknown family,born to a low race...born to country who despise ur religion!...(i know i know ..same kind of stupid question...i was asking God too if You want the best from me can i just not be working with people who threat me like rubbish...!still having no idea why...but at the end of the day i felt proud that i was able to do lot's myself...and achieve lots this few days..contacting people...talking to people...even getting scolded...but never mine it's all fine....
so even if i have to lower the price of myself to get things done...even to the point of begging...as long as i know i did my best...for Him ...i will be fine....! on and on this pain goes on in this place..but i will be fine..as long as i know...the best has yet to come...
and here is me...who only has one thing in my mind....Thank You Lord for this job which you give me to put food on my table....! (i am trying so hard to remind myself about this)
even if the even is today...i just leave it to Him...even if i get scolded when things go wrong...i know i have done well myself...i know i did everything the best....
being positive in thoughts does really helps..and it helps me to be sane even in the insane times...!
i might not be a Prof next time...neither might i ever be a Dato' i just want to stay a child of God always clinging to Him...that is what that matters...
heartnote:This world does not give us happiness...and eternal life...but He does!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Climb...
after a whole weekend meeting and lepakking with long..long time friends...(don't want to use old)...suddenly driving to work this morning was really a weird feelin....!last weekend i felt like i was brought back in time to younger days...the carefree days....where you don't think to much...! and you just enjoy the days as it comes....oh man this feelin makes me realise that i am old!! LOL
hanging out with different batches of friends makes me realise how far life has gone....how far i have climb...and how far i have reached....
gone are the days where we couldn't care less of what time it was and still devoure foods in the early morning...not worrying about health....gone are the days where we can just go sleepless for days...not worrying about what comes tomorow...indeed we had all grew up...!some are fathers and mothers....some are executives....some have travelled the world...but one thing reminded me was we had gone thru so much together and sharpen each other along the way....
thanks guys for being my friends....!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Sad song with a happy beat...!
I suddenly have this crazy idea to write a song...(macam lah pandai) paling2 pun mungkin write lyrics lah....i was asking myself what type of song if i would to ever write...! i came across this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D0nLjYMYTw
actually suppose to be a sad song if you think about the lyrics..but it was given an upbeat melody and a catchy one too...
life should be like that kan?..now i know how the phrase if life give you lemons make lemonades out of it...when life is as low as it is....keep your mind on rising to the highest point....and it will make your heart jitters....! :P i am out to find what will make my heart jitters....what would make my heart beat faster....make heart feel better....
if you guys ever see superman attempt to fly....he doesn't leap and fly...he bends his knees and attempt to to fly...so i believe at the lowest of life...i should believe that everything would teach me to fly higher...
Lifenotes: Let's make the fullest use of what we have...life is not only about sad songs....but it is also about happy beats...when you are down and out...it's ok to stop and think...but please get well fast...cos this world has rainbows....!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D0nLjYMYTw
actually suppose to be a sad song if you think about the lyrics..but it was given an upbeat melody and a catchy one too...
life should be like that kan?..now i know how the phrase if life give you lemons make lemonades out of it...when life is as low as it is....keep your mind on rising to the highest point....and it will make your heart jitters....! :P i am out to find what will make my heart jitters....what would make my heart beat faster....make heart feel better....
if you guys ever see superman attempt to fly....he doesn't leap and fly...he bends his knees and attempt to to fly...so i believe at the lowest of life...i should believe that everything would teach me to fly higher...
Lifenotes: Let's make the fullest use of what we have...life is not only about sad songs....but it is also about happy beats...when you are down and out...it's ok to stop and think...but please get well fast...cos this world has rainbows....!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Death or Alive.....
this few days kept me thinking of it....wonder what would it be like to a person who is on a death bed...waiting for her or his time...and thinking of people especially children who are born sick and from child birth knows that their are destined to die at a young age because of their sickness...
and here i am always thinking that death would be one of the option to end this pityfull lifeless life...
but this life just gotta be more then this...!
always wondered how it is when you see your life passing by you in a second...
as i told you all after the shocking shake last wednesday...i did see my life pass by in a ziff...of how i was and how life is....and was even thinking oh noss there are lots of things i haven't done yet....!!! many people i haven't keep in touch with because of time constraint!!...and was guessing maybe this is what people go through when you see your life flash before you....
so the saying : live ur life as it is..really need much digestion...
recently i was reminded of the verse John 3:30 He must become greater and I must become less...
indeed when there is a time in yourlife that you feel that ur problem is greater then life...and when there are things that you feel that your life is in "control"...there is a reminder that we have to return to basic...is to let Him be in control of everything....
I have doubts in life that i am doing the right things with my life...but i must learn to let go and let Him...!
Death or Alive....it's not for us to choose!..
and here i am always thinking that death would be one of the option to end this pityfull lifeless life...
but this life just gotta be more then this...!
as i told you all after the shocking shake last wednesday...i did see my life pass by in a ziff...of how i was and how life is....and was even thinking oh noss there are lots of things i haven't done yet....!!! many people i haven't keep in touch with because of time constraint!!...and was guessing maybe this is what people go through when you see your life flash before you....
so the saying : live ur life as it is..really need much digestion...
recently i was reminded of the verse John 3:30 He must become greater and I must become less...
indeed when there is a time in yourlife that you feel that ur problem is greater then life...and when there are things that you feel that your life is in "control"...there is a reminder that we have to return to basic...is to let Him be in control of everything....
I have doubts in life that i am doing the right things with my life...but i must learn to let go and let Him...!
Death or Alive....it's not for us to choose!..
Friday, April 13, 2012
Dreams...
Are you having dreams? LOL...
weird prayer this few days...hope that everybody will have dreams to awaken them!....
Heartnote: Banyak perkara yang mungkin kita tidak akan paham...tapi Byk perkara yg akan kita lalui utk membuat kita kuat dlm Dia bila kita berharap pada Dia
weird prayer this few days...hope that everybody will have dreams to awaken them!....
Heartnote: Banyak perkara yang mungkin kita tidak akan paham...tapi Byk perkara yg akan kita lalui utk membuat kita kuat dlm Dia bila kita berharap pada Dia
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The day my ground shook..!!
as you all heard that yesterday there was an earth-quake somewhere in Sumatra...
this was not the first time i felt the apartment shaking....but this was the longest....and got to admit if i tell you that i was not scared that was a totall lie...i stood up and all i could think of was...Pray...!!
no doubt in my mind...is this the way i am suppose to die??...funny thing was...after the shaking all i could think off was...to take a bath first...supaya harum2 jumpa my Maker!!! wakakaka...!!!weird!!
people came out of the apartments...and i went down only after my bath...!! SOT!!...
the moral of the story...sometimes God permits our ground to be shaken to remind us....this few weeks...even months...my ground had been shaken that it caused an "earthquake" in my life....and it was enough to shake the daylights out of me....many wild wild thoughts came in mind....!sometimes how our brain plays with us...there are even times that you just feel that it's better of dead then alive...!
when your thoughts has gone until the extreme of thinking that death is better then living....i think it's really time to really let go and hang on to something that will give you hope....my thoughts was already to the extreme.. and i am thankfull that deep in me what i have learn gave me the will to bounce back....this was the verse that i am thankfull when i was in sunday school that i was force to memorise...!
A psalm of David
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
and this too was what i was reminded that what i should put my trust into....i am not saying that i am ok already...but when there's no way...there's only ONE way to go....is to go and hang on to Him....i realise that i have no where to go...!
to hint to those who are asking what the heck am i talking about: the feeling of being an adopted child in your own country is getting on my nerve.... sekian terima kasih !
so to You i put my trust... and i know this road i am taking my not be smooth..but please get me there where i am suppose to go!! i am sorry that You had to shake me before i realise everything!
Heartnote:Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil,for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
this was not the first time i felt the apartment shaking....but this was the longest....and got to admit if i tell you that i was not scared that was a totall lie...i stood up and all i could think of was...Pray...!!
no doubt in my mind...is this the way i am suppose to die??...funny thing was...after the shaking all i could think off was...to take a bath first...supaya harum2 jumpa my Maker!!! wakakaka...!!!weird!!
people came out of the apartments...and i went down only after my bath...!! SOT!!...
the moral of the story...sometimes God permits our ground to be shaken to remind us....this few weeks...even months...my ground had been shaken that it caused an "earthquake" in my life....and it was enough to shake the daylights out of me....many wild wild thoughts came in mind....!sometimes how our brain plays with us...there are even times that you just feel that it's better of dead then alive...!
when your thoughts has gone until the extreme of thinking that death is better then living....i think it's really time to really let go and hang on to something that will give you hope....my thoughts was already to the extreme.. and i am thankfull that deep in me what i have learn gave me the will to bounce back....this was the verse that i am thankfull when i was in sunday school that i was force to memorise...!
A psalm of David
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
and this too was what i was reminded that what i should put my trust into....i am not saying that i am ok already...but when there's no way...there's only ONE way to go....is to go and hang on to Him....i realise that i have no where to go...!
to hint to those who are asking what the heck am i talking about: the feeling of being an adopted child in your own country is getting on my nerve.... sekian terima kasih !
so to You i put my trust... and i know this road i am taking my not be smooth..but please get me there where i am suppose to go!! i am sorry that You had to shake me before i realise everything!
Heartnote:Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil,for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Monday, April 9, 2012
trying to get back into the race...
it's hard to make a comeback on something that you use to love to do...it's just like a marathon race....when you use to like to just run and run and run...and because of injury..or circumtances you seem to stop...at first you walk...then you stop...and then it will be like stagnant water....and then the feelin of wanting to have nothing to do with the race kicks in...
after a long2 wonder around...you tend to go to the side lines and look at people running the marathon...memories kick in...and you would like to run again...
it has been quite sometime now since i was back in track running my own race...trying to do my own thing..my way...but this few month i came to realise that i can't carry on without He who is there to coach me..to guide me...
and after some dificult things this past few weeks...i decided that i just had to lean on Him a 100% 24 hours of my life...and once again wanting to start to run again...but the fear of failling kicks in..the fear of being hurt again comes in too...but i just have to put my utmost trust in Him again...
after a long2 time that i wanted to join the sunrise service i finnaly did...and the service was so simple yet it impacted so strongly...i was amaze by the faith they had by doing an open air service ...but the weather was perfect..and the sunrise was a perfect one...if you notice the last pic..there wasn't any sunrise in the banner..but that was a reflecting of the sunrise thru the pillars behind...and it cause the effect of a sun rise on the better...!what perfect timing and perfect place to hang the banner!!..(that was enuff to amaze me)
Our God is an awesome God...even if the whole world is againts you..He will protect you...!
p/s Do continue to pray for me as i recommit myself to run the race again...
Heartnote: ini perasaan semacam jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama all over again...!
after a long2 wonder around...you tend to go to the side lines and look at people running the marathon...memories kick in...and you would like to run again...
it has been quite sometime now since i was back in track running my own race...trying to do my own thing..my way...but this few month i came to realise that i can't carry on without He who is there to coach me..to guide me...
and after some dificult things this past few weeks...i decided that i just had to lean on Him a 100% 24 hours of my life...and once again wanting to start to run again...but the fear of failling kicks in..the fear of being hurt again comes in too...but i just have to put my utmost trust in Him again...
after a long2 time that i wanted to join the sunrise service i finnaly did...and the service was so simple yet it impacted so strongly...i was amaze by the faith they had by doing an open air service ...but the weather was perfect..and the sunrise was a perfect one...if you notice the last pic..there wasn't any sunrise in the banner..but that was a reflecting of the sunrise thru the pillars behind...and it cause the effect of a sun rise on the better...!what perfect timing and perfect place to hang the banner!!..(that was enuff to amaze me)
Our God is an awesome God...even if the whole world is againts you..He will protect you...!
p/s Do continue to pray for me as i recommit myself to run the race again...
Heartnote: ini perasaan semacam jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama all over again...!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
waking up the Giant of Malaysia...
got to admit i am feeling like a step child in my own country lately....and contemplating to leave this country because of the unfairness that i am feeling..
in the midst of the awefull feeling...i woke up in the middle of the night today to this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwl7MEjei70&feature=related
i am still watching the first episode....and is really thrill to share it with you all....
let's watch it together k...in hoping at the end of the sermon that my heart will give a different beat towards how i feel of this place...
heartnote:bila hati sudah kecewa...hati kena berubah mencari tujuan yang sebenar....
in the midst of the awefull feeling...i woke up in the middle of the night today to this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwl7MEjei70&feature=related
i am still watching the first episode....and is really thrill to share it with you all....
let's watch it together k...in hoping at the end of the sermon that my heart will give a different beat towards how i feel of this place...
heartnote:bila hati sudah kecewa...hati kena berubah mencari tujuan yang sebenar....
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Thank You...
sometimes there are days that you realise that you cannot live alone....
being alone facing some things are just a pathetic feeling...
i woke up this morning with the feeling of something is just not right...so i decided to browse through my handphone to message people i know that will definately be by my side when i need them...
a simple asking for help was all i need..
didn't need more ...but just a simple prayer to get through today....
as i had a feeling that today i just feel not right....!
this is the day i will admit i am not fine....
and the day i admit that i am not strong in situations like this....
THANK YOU guys...for just sticking by my "side"
even if it's not physicaly by my side...
but thank you for praying with me....
thanks...
GOMAWO
Heartnote:
Monday, April 2, 2012
Quarter miles gone!
can you believe it it's April already!!!!.....
i still notice that i have been putting off my new years resolution....!! and it's already a quarter miles in the year of 2012....yikes....!! someone please press the pause button!!!!.....
sometimes i really think that the boat i am on is sinking slowly.....sinking and almost drowning...when i wake up everyday..it'll be oh o....it's monday again?????...! talk about life drifting away unrealize....!
but oh well...looking at the time....! atleast i am at one step ahead of last year (I REALLY HOPE SO...!!!)atleast i manage to keep the scale down...:P
i have been listening to a song of vanness....which starts with a prayer...Thank you Lord for today...and for tomorrow....! (i don't really know the title of the song cos it's in Chinesse LOL) and that is what i always do now a days...! to start my day...thanking Him for today and also tomorrow and also yesterday...whatever it is...giving thanks does really help you though the day...
i kinda thing that this life i am in kinda suck....but well i can't deny it...so i have to just live as it is....try to motivate myself to just do well in what i am doing....i am trying to plan my game plan for another 3/4 of this year....yesterday i watch some korean actors and comedian giving motivation to Uni leavers....and they kinda touch me too...! as far as you can....as fast as you can...just runnnnnnnnnn!!!.. and don't give up...if you don't succeed..atleast you tried....!and as long as you are still leaving just try again...!i have some plans for this year that i think i will try once and for all...it's ok if i don't succeed...atleast i tried.....if i succeed JACKPOT!!!!...LOL
i saw these pics...and it touch me...and give me the sense of goin on...striving on...it's of my nephew and niece that i won't want them to see their aunty as someone that fail in her life!
Heartnote:as long as you are still breathing that is how long you will try hard to carry on with life!
i still notice that i have been putting off my new years resolution....!! and it's already a quarter miles in the year of 2012....yikes....!! someone please press the pause button!!!!.....
sometimes i really think that the boat i am on is sinking slowly.....sinking and almost drowning...when i wake up everyday..it'll be oh o....it's monday again?????...! talk about life drifting away unrealize....!
but oh well...looking at the time....! atleast i am at one step ahead of last year (I REALLY HOPE SO...!!!)atleast i manage to keep the scale down...:P
i have been listening to a song of vanness....which starts with a prayer...Thank you Lord for today...and for tomorrow....! (i don't really know the title of the song cos it's in Chinesse LOL) and that is what i always do now a days...! to start my day...thanking Him for today and also tomorrow and also yesterday...whatever it is...giving thanks does really help you though the day...
i kinda thing that this life i am in kinda suck....but well i can't deny it...so i have to just live as it is....try to motivate myself to just do well in what i am doing....i am trying to plan my game plan for another 3/4 of this year....yesterday i watch some korean actors and comedian giving motivation to Uni leavers....and they kinda touch me too...! as far as you can....as fast as you can...just runnnnnnnnnn!!!.. and don't give up...if you don't succeed..atleast you tried....!and as long as you are still leaving just try again...!i have some plans for this year that i think i will try once and for all...it's ok if i don't succeed...atleast i tried.....if i succeed JACKPOT!!!!...LOL
i saw these pics...and it touch me...and give me the sense of goin on...striving on...it's of my nephew and niece that i won't want them to see their aunty as someone that fail in her life!
his master piece...i think he would turn out to be a fine boy...or a fine writer...!
She melts my heart!!...
Heartnote:as long as you are still breathing that is how long you will try hard to carry on with life!
Monday, March 26, 2012
HIgh Carbo Weekend....
It has been a long time since i posted something about my weekends....
normally my weekends are plain boring routines....
sleep late...wake up early...watch my ever long korean dramas.....
and becoming a weekend maid with the un-ending chores....
but last weekend was different....i decided to go overboard and konon nya celebrate lah my losing weight project!!
so this was what i did...
with things that i had at home....
first...
bread pudding....
this was taken right after i sprinkle some sugar on it....before the sugar browned....
and taddaaaaaa......bread pudding..!! this was my first try and is quite happy with it...maybe i should make some when i get invited to a makan hehehe....
and then i finally decided to make this for breakfast on the saturday morning....!!
Kimchi Fried Rice.....
mom was nagging me to buy some korean chili paste for her 2 weeks ago...as she promise to make some kimchi for church sale.....then i complain of the prices of it here...so she sent some offer via the brother last weekend....actually i told her about stuffs that she can cook with the kimchi..and she did try frying rice with it and she said it was nice...so i decided to try myself...and i tell you ...it was superb!!! almost drug like...that i was addicted to it...i made it again for lunch!!!
i made some home made nuggets too..(sorry no pics)....
haish..! and the worst thing was i gain 2kg after the weekend....!darn it..looks like i need to fast for this whole week...!!
*tell you guys something funny....about my pudding episode...everytime after eating the pudding i will fall asleep...everytime for a few times after eating...then i realize that!!!! i spiked my raisins with chivas!!! and i made the sauce with some rum!!! LOL so basically i was like drunk the whole weekend....!! was wondering why the whole saturday i was just sleeping!!!dangerous dish...!!
orait...! back to hitting my personal made gym to burn off those evil carbs!!!! padan muka siapa suruh tia pandai kawal!!!!
cheers guys....have a great week ahead...!! i'll be away from tomorrow till friday...!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
no longer obese
In the History of my life after so so so so so many years.....
i finally reach the un-obesity level...
muaahahahahahahhaa....!!!
i am aiming for the desired weight...
then after that....
VICTORYYYYYYYYYYY...!!!
lepas tu sudah boleh makan sesuka hati...*boleh gitu???
mohon maap kalau post ni mengganggu fikiran org...hahaha
i am just applausing myself..:P
Friday, March 16, 2012
Life is an Endless drama
Life is like an endless drama....
Remember the feeling of watching movies??
when the top of the screen has a black ribbon and the bottom is fill with subtitles...whether it is mandarin or BM...
at times we question the script of the director....
and we question why there are certain actors in the drama...
in life...
we will go through feelings
meet many types of people...
and
sometimes don't understand why things happen...
and still the answer will be "i don't know"
well what ever it is....
i realise that ...
life must go on...
as long as i know who the Director of my life is...
that's what matters....
Heartnote:now i know the power of having people praying for you endlessly....thanks guys..it really helps...
Friday is always a good day....
Apart from being through a H*&( of a week...
today nothing can make me feel sad....
because....!!!
i am 3kg away from my goal of the month...
wakakkakakakaka!!!!!!!!!!!
funny..things i do to amuse myself....!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I have discovered!
I have finaly discovered my limitation.....
i can't fly when i really wanted to fly.....
and
the worst thing about limitation is.....
when
you
find
out
you
have
no where out of the things you're facing....
setakat ini perkataan paling benci adalah 1M4L4Ysia.....!!!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
What is the limit...
Have you ever question your limitation?
i question my limitation often....
but all the time i keep on goin...
and now i really question how far i am willing to go...
Heartnote: Berapa lamakah Kau akan biarkan aku begini Tuhan?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
a little faith is all that would do.....
Sometimes when things we see or feel seems to be all lies and hardship
we just have to see and feel it with a little faith...
Tuhan tolong lah ajarku bagaimana mau survive the world i am living in....
Thursday, March 1, 2012
life wearing off...
have you ever come to the feeling that you're just plain tired of this life....??
after a hard day yesterday...the feelin was just plain tired of things...everything....
indeed there will be times that are hard to go through physically...and most of all mentally....i have heard many people ask people close to me how i can stand the place i am in...? but truthfully...i can't...but there's just a feelin of giving up everyday i come in to work...but everyday i ask myself too what make me presevere....the answer is still un found.....
as i ended the day last nite...i realise that life is indeed hard...and some times life does wear you out...and all you think is just want to end it...! (talkin about extreme..but it is indeed true) but as a child of GOD...indeed it is great to know that there is still hope in Him...even though most of the time it is hard to even believe....and at times like this HE sends His angels in form of Good friends....and most of the times these are the people you keep me sane...!hundreds with me may talk bad about me and stab me on the back...but a great and good friend's reassurance will lift me high and the shoulder of a friend will give me a break from wearing off....indeed i am thankfull and blessfull...!
this morning i saw this..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13Fo0_Hfxo0&feature=related
p/s there's something to be joyous today...~!! 2 down...3 to go...!! yipeeyeay...indeed when your sad God has a way to lift you up :P
heartnote: thanking God for the wonderfull people in my life....life maybe blissfull...but it will be blessfull with Him...!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUk6P0FOhro i am enjoying this song and it feels as the melody can affect a down heart to be lifted up.... let's walk in the day guys...! everyday is a new day a new miracle!
after a hard day yesterday...the feelin was just plain tired of things...everything....
indeed there will be times that are hard to go through physically...and most of all mentally....i have heard many people ask people close to me how i can stand the place i am in...? but truthfully...i can't...but there's just a feelin of giving up everyday i come in to work...but everyday i ask myself too what make me presevere....the answer is still un found.....
as i ended the day last nite...i realise that life is indeed hard...and some times life does wear you out...and all you think is just want to end it...! (talkin about extreme..but it is indeed true) but as a child of GOD...indeed it is great to know that there is still hope in Him...even though most of the time it is hard to even believe....and at times like this HE sends His angels in form of Good friends....and most of the times these are the people you keep me sane...!hundreds with me may talk bad about me and stab me on the back...but a great and good friend's reassurance will lift me high and the shoulder of a friend will give me a break from wearing off....indeed i am thankfull and blessfull...!
this morning i saw this..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13Fo0_Hfxo0&feature=related
p/s there's something to be joyous today...~!! 2 down...3 to go...!! yipeeyeay...indeed when your sad God has a way to lift you up :P
heartnote: thanking God for the wonderfull people in my life....life maybe blissfull...but it will be blessfull with Him...!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUk6P0FOhro i am enjoying this song and it feels as the melody can affect a down heart to be lifted up.... let's walk in the day guys...! everyday is a new day a new miracle!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Road For hope...
this morning i was watching on KBS humanity pledge....the team was call For hope...2 of korea goodlooking actors went to rwanda and congo to see the refugees....it made me cried a lot...watching the children suffer from malnutritions and war victim showing their scars....the two of them cried alot too on this documentary....they actually said before they went they will not pity the people there and wouldn't cry...
and one phrase that they said really strike my heart.......
"i don't know what to say to them when you know there isn't much hope for them..."
me and my thoughts just went wild...many may think what do you care...and don't think too much...! but it reflects on myself....as much as there are many things to complain about my own life...there are many things that distress me...even simple things...today after watching there...i thought to myself...i must stop complaining...must stop whinning...cos there are other people who are having harder times...i may not know what it feels to die of starving...i may not know the struggle of being a handicapp..and as i ask Him why things happened...! i shall learn to live life to the fullest...and remember to tell myself i am much well off then others....
*i think i want to join a humanity trip to somewhere ...! as a volunteer..
heatnote: what do you say when you know there is really no hope?
and one phrase that they said really strike my heart.......
"i don't know what to say to them when you know there isn't much hope for them..."
me and my thoughts just went wild...many may think what do you care...and don't think too much...! but it reflects on myself....as much as there are many things to complain about my own life...there are many things that distress me...even simple things...today after watching there...i thought to myself...i must stop complaining...must stop whinning...cos there are other people who are having harder times...i may not know what it feels to die of starving...i may not know the struggle of being a handicapp..and as i ask Him why things happened...! i shall learn to live life to the fullest...and remember to tell myself i am much well off then others....
*i think i want to join a humanity trip to somewhere ...! as a volunteer..
heatnote: what do you say when you know there is really no hope?
Friday, February 24, 2012
Hard work!!
Been trying to lose some weight this few months.....
and now i realise how important it is to really have self control....!! regrets of eating like the end times has come...! now is the payback time....
new target set....
5 KG before APRIL!!
wish me all the best!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Monkey Love....
I was driving home from work yesterday....and i saw a group of monkeys jumping from one tree to another...then they jump to the tree to cross over the road....(imagine along both side the road are big trees and the branches cave in...) then i realise that they had a "system"..one cross/jump first...then he/she sit on a branch to make sure the branch lowered so that the others can reach....after 2 monkeys cross over they change "person" to sit and hold the branch....it went on until every one crossed over...!"ketara ofis gwe byk monyet.."
the simple gesture like that touched my heart...even monkeys..."animals" show simple effection maybe to their own family or maybe just friends....a gesture of a helping hand when you fall...or even getting up a hill...it feels great to have a hand offered to you so you can jerk urself up...!
this simple thing..can be life changing...it hit me yesterday after watching the monkeys...as i am reminded to continue to do things out of love...to family to friends..to aquantances...even simple gesture will make one's life a happier one....
i am always reminding myself to make an extra afford to meet up to keep in touch with friends...even if i can't be there physically i would like to spend time to pray for them too...as our daily life goes on the struggles we face are different from each other...but i think it will feel better or even lessent the burden when we are just there to sit on the branch to lower it so that the jump will be less the afford...or just to hear up the things troubling that person....or even lending a back for that person to rest on..
our time in this world is short...and i won't want it to be a regretfull one....
*recently i was having chest pain most of the days....and the thought of maybe my time is up came by...i was thinking....oh no!! is this how i am gonna die...everyday i pray that God will bestowe me more time....*call me paranoid! - now i am just trying to live life as it is...as if the day is the Greatest day in my life....!telling myself everday i wake up...I will have a great day.. I will live well!!..
the simple gesture like that touched my heart...even monkeys..."animals" show simple effection maybe to their own family or maybe just friends....a gesture of a helping hand when you fall...or even getting up a hill...it feels great to have a hand offered to you so you can jerk urself up...!
this simple thing..can be life changing...it hit me yesterday after watching the monkeys...as i am reminded to continue to do things out of love...to family to friends..to aquantances...even simple gesture will make one's life a happier one....
i am always reminding myself to make an extra afford to meet up to keep in touch with friends...even if i can't be there physically i would like to spend time to pray for them too...as our daily life goes on the struggles we face are different from each other...but i think it will feel better or even lessent the burden when we are just there to sit on the branch to lower it so that the jump will be less the afford...or just to hear up the things troubling that person....or even lending a back for that person to rest on..
our time in this world is short...and i won't want it to be a regretfull one....
*recently i was having chest pain most of the days....and the thought of maybe my time is up came by...i was thinking....oh no!! is this how i am gonna die...everyday i pray that God will bestowe me more time....*call me paranoid! - now i am just trying to live life as it is...as if the day is the Greatest day in my life....!telling myself everday i wake up...I will have a great day.. I will live well!!..
I will let the sunrise tell me everyday is a new miracle.....and i will be thankfull that i am alive to see it
and I will let the sunset tell me that i have done good today and give myself a pat on the back.....and give thanks for that day as i put and in extra afford
*today i let a car get out of a junction and i felt good!
*today i wave a lady to cross the road in front of me and i felt good!
*today i gave a colleague a lift to somewhere and i felt good!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Aku seorang Ikan bilis!!
Despite the havocness in the office..i am taking office time to blog....
I am feeling a crush of emotions and crush of dignity at work this few days.....but i am trying to tell myself to have patience in the heart and everything will be ok....it's all about the passion of life...:P (ayat-ayat kasi sedap hati )
there are things bothering me at work that is not even worth mentioning....and even if people ask me about it i get tired and say somethings up but not worth saying....
but of all i am feeling the pressure of being a small fish....i think even ikan bilis is bigger then i am....when working with people of another faith that have out of this world superiority powers one may simply feel that you might as well don't exist in this world....!! but then again you exist to be ask to do things for them....when i come to think of how awesome and powerful my Creator is....i am reminded of what i should do...and hope....even in times that i don't really care about my testimony....and there are times i just want to slap or even throw a tantrum....but i can't and shouldn't....even the big fishes put the blame on the small fish..and the sharks are waiting to see the small fish fail...hmm what ever it is i shall learn that this is my trainning ground...and i should hold myself up at the end of the day...
got to admit i've been crazy about super group and some singers of a k wave :P...funny that a stupid thing people may say becomes my strength and reminder to have my priorities and give my time everyday to my Creator....as i know some of them even famous as they are still have time to spent time with God everyday in their life and even are not ashame to confess infront of millions of people about their faith....i am truely embarrased because of that.....
people my say this crazyness or obssesion is just childish or eeewwwyy...but well you have your opinions but it reminds my of my walk in this world with God...and it reminds me of what i should do.....is to be faithfull.....!is to hope....! and is to keep the faith burning....
tears are really our safety belts....if you think how hard your life is compare to others...i tell you...you're still blessed...!
*i notice that i haven't been posting pics in my blog for a long time...and decided to put a pic today...this was what i took when i visit an engineer's office in a high place..:P
and i realise that my life is lacking of beautiful pics....and i wish to have a break from life as it is to watch the rainbow....
food for the heart: To be faithfull is a hard thing to do....but it is the only thing that give us hope....
there are things bothering me at work that is not even worth mentioning....and even if people ask me about it i get tired and say somethings up but not worth saying....
but of all i am feeling the pressure of being a small fish....i think even ikan bilis is bigger then i am....when working with people of another faith that have out of this world superiority powers one may simply feel that you might as well don't exist in this world....!! but then again you exist to be ask to do things for them....when i come to think of how awesome and powerful my Creator is....i am reminded of what i should do...and hope....even in times that i don't really care about my testimony....and there are times i just want to slap or even throw a tantrum....but i can't and shouldn't....even the big fishes put the blame on the small fish..and the sharks are waiting to see the small fish fail...hmm what ever it is i shall learn that this is my trainning ground...and i should hold myself up at the end of the day...
got to admit i've been crazy about super group and some singers of a k wave :P...funny that a stupid thing people may say becomes my strength and reminder to have my priorities and give my time everyday to my Creator....as i know some of them even famous as they are still have time to spent time with God everyday in their life and even are not ashame to confess infront of millions of people about their faith....i am truely embarrased because of that.....
people my say this crazyness or obssesion is just childish or eeewwwyy...but well you have your opinions but it reminds my of my walk in this world with God...and it reminds me of what i should do.....is to be faithfull.....!is to hope....! and is to keep the faith burning....
tears are really our safety belts....if you think how hard your life is compare to others...i tell you...you're still blessed...!
*i notice that i haven't been posting pics in my blog for a long time...and decided to put a pic today...this was what i took when i visit an engineer's office in a high place..:P
and i realise that my life is lacking of beautiful pics....and i wish to have a break from life as it is to watch the rainbow....
food for the heart: To be faithfull is a hard thing to do....but it is the only thing that give us hope....
Monday, February 13, 2012
Pride.....
sometimes there are things that will break you...and one of the things that often break my soul is my pride.....i am still learning to break my pride...to be able to admit things that i am weak at...to be able to admit that i can't do somethings....but it's hard....when it happens at times i feel that my soul is being broken....my heart is being slash.....and deep inside i feel broken....
but i want to learn that my pride will drown me in sorrow...my pride will trap me at times....
as i walk my life daily...i want to still have my pride of being a person full of wisdom....that i can still stand up and face people because of my selflessness....
till i learn to stand up again and be proud of myself...i will still wait for the sunrise evermorning to tell me that things will be getting ok as the new day dawn...and as i end my days with sunsets...to remind me that i have done my best that day...
sometimes what we say or do unintentionally brakes people's pride....but it's allright...maybe that person has to learn....
Let's wait until the sun sets today....telling urself that you have done well today...and hope for the sun rise tomorow to be thankfull that we're alive !!!
but i want to learn that my pride will drown me in sorrow...my pride will trap me at times....
as i walk my life daily...i want to still have my pride of being a person full of wisdom....that i can still stand up and face people because of my selflessness....
till i learn to stand up again and be proud of myself...i will still wait for the sunrise evermorning to tell me that things will be getting ok as the new day dawn...and as i end my days with sunsets...to remind me that i have done my best that day...
sometimes what we say or do unintentionally brakes people's pride....but it's allright...maybe that person has to learn....
Let's wait until the sun sets today....telling urself that you have done well today...and hope for the sun rise tomorow to be thankfull that we're alive !!!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Be strong and Courages...
truthfully i have been having a "irritating/annoying itch" working with a certain "group" of people....and i think the itch has turn to be a time bomb or can we say a malignant cancer in me....
had a rather rough day at work yesterday...and i think after so long of cooling down period...suddently i just had enough...(but yes...i have said thousand of times i had enough!!) but yet i am still here...!
but i am glad that i have found a foundation that i will need to cling on for the rest of my life...even though how much i hate working with this "group" of people...i have come to my senses that i am here for a purpose (which i don't even know yet!!!) but after a long journey i think it's rather the feeling of no use of fighting anymore...just go with the flow...! as i know i will never prosper like them in this place...but i will surely prosper in my Father's eyes...so oh well...let's try to live life as it is for now....
had a rather rough day at work yesterday...and i think after so long of cooling down period...suddently i just had enough...(but yes...i have said thousand of times i had enough!!) but yet i am still here...!
but i am glad that i have found a foundation that i will need to cling on for the rest of my life...even though how much i hate working with this "group" of people...i have come to my senses that i am here for a purpose (which i don't even know yet!!!) but after a long journey i think it's rather the feeling of no use of fighting anymore...just go with the flow...! as i know i will never prosper like them in this place...but i will surely prosper in my Father's eyes...so oh well...let's try to live life as it is for now....
for now i will just have to believe...
for now i will just have to hope...
for now i will just have to trust...
in
YOU
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
HeartString...
It must have really hurt when you like someone that wasn't meant to be yours...
when i told you to forget about it and everything would be ok...
now i know
that things weren't ok back then ...
and forgeting isn't that easy...
it must have been really hard....
it must have really hurt...
everything wasn't ok....
mianhae....(sorry)..
For now i know it must have been really hard....
everything wasn't ok....
well i hope things are fine now...
and that
you're picking up things as it is...
and putting your hopes and trust to the
One and Only...
until the day comes...
when things are not as hope....
everything is not ok....
it's just ok to sulk and tear..
as long as it makes the heart better for even 1 second....
it's fine...
as long as you don't give up with this life...
and start to walk again
till the day that you will run again...
mianhae...(sorry)
I was really wrong then....
it's 2.45am on a workday..and i suddenly remember someone...and something...
for He is great and awesome that most of the time we tend to doubt Him...for His plans for us may not be what we hope for...but if not Him who else shall we put our utmost trust...???
heartnote:for i hope to go on the right path...to learn to walk again,trusting YOU along the way....please teach me how...to walk again with You..everyday in my life....
Friday, January 13, 2012
Tears
Tears are safetybelts of our heart....
so it's ok to just cry when you need to...
Have a wonderful weekend....i'll be enjoying it cos the bestie is coming to town....
p/s currently crazy about superjuniors...LOL.....try watching Mr.Simple with translate version k...! cool!!
Heartnote:YOU are all i need.....You are all i have....
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Being loved...
*another pictureless post.....
the bro. just came back last nite....and with him were lots of goodies (food lah...) from my mom...they were packed nicely in small2 containers,every portions enough for a meal...(sorry no pics cos it was 1.30am when we arrived home...) as i put them in the fridge...i smiled...this is how a mother show her love silently....
Being Loved...
knowing that someone loves and cares for you really is "undescribable.."..and it's a great potion for the hurting heart....
as we face everyday challenges.. at the end of the day it's tiring.... and if we face a certain phase that the feelin is you've hit the wall...and moving forward,backwards and side ways seems unpermitable...all you can do is just put your hope in someone that is Greater then life itself...
sometimes it's good to praise someone....it's good to show that you care, to someone....a simple hi,thank you...or even you did great...
you might not now that it really means so much ...
...sarangheyeo...!
heartnote: Less than 1minute a day...is just how much it takes...
the bro. just came back last nite....and with him were lots of goodies (food lah...) from my mom...they were packed nicely in small2 containers,every portions enough for a meal...(sorry no pics cos it was 1.30am when we arrived home...) as i put them in the fridge...i smiled...this is how a mother show her love silently....
Being Loved...
knowing that someone loves and cares for you really is "undescribable.."..and it's a great potion for the hurting heart....
as we face everyday challenges.. at the end of the day it's tiring.... and if we face a certain phase that the feelin is you've hit the wall...and moving forward,backwards and side ways seems unpermitable...all you can do is just put your hope in someone that is Greater then life itself...
sometimes it's good to praise someone....it's good to show that you care, to someone....a simple hi,thank you...or even you did great...
you might not now that it really means so much ...
...sarangheyeo...!
heartnote: Less than 1minute a day...is just how much it takes...
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