Help needed

Tuhan Tolong lah....!

i need help...strength...wisdom...and patience...lots of it...!
lots of it right now....

Fudnote:smlm tengok di cermin...rambut putih ku semakin byk...

Kau beri yang ku pinta...!

been hearing this background song for days now...realising how it makes me feel inside...!! not always that i ask much...not always i get much either...


i am glad that i feel very tired this few days...that i realise that all i need is His strength to carry on...!with all the things happening around me...! the BIGGEST restructuring at work...!(which i found myself to careless..but deep down inside i am scared to death till i can pee in my pants...)work pilling in and i just can't cope!...decisions need to be made...!Hearts need to be impress..(which i am not gonna do...)...financial reconstruction that i need to do personally...!expectation that need to be fulfilled...! WHAT THE HECK!!!..i wish i could just throw everything out the window and move to the country side and sit in front of my porch looking at the stars sipping my liquor (i would say coffee but i don't drink coffee)

this life is so in a mess right now that i know there be something big instore but i just need to just let HIM have His way...I know this world is not easy...people are not easy...especially when they discriminate you based on your religion...treat you like ass when it comes to being fair...! takpa lah..kita smua akan diadili at the end of this race...! so i couldn't careless of people at work..!

love this wikipedia boy !! didn;t know he did that expression..we were suppose to say O....!

Kepala ku makin sakit hari ni...! i think kalau esok masih sama i need painkiller!!.. or ada org mo ikut sama2 p therapy makan atau shopping?

fudnote: last nite i bit my tongue so hard it bleed...!aku nangis sorang2..!lidah ku kini berlubang di tengah2....

Living in a buble..

Have you ever felt that you've been living in a buble...this few days i have been feeling that my head is in a big bubble....the feeling that you can fly...and when you want to express urself you just can't...and like you're floating in a stream....

can someone come and help me pop this bubble......?

Swollen Eye...and a Bad Headache!

Woke up this morning...drag myself to the shower...

got ready for work..

came to work...

Darn it...

Mata-mata ku bengkak ni hari....

kepala rasa mo pecah...

Fudnote:Tuhan..is it ok if i ask You WHY??...rasanya aku yg tak tahan kerja sini tapi org lain pulak yg berhenti..!

Old is the word!

Hot sun + long trip = tired + getting old!

i come to realise that i am getting old...nah..shud i say i admit that age is really catching up...is having a splitting headache...!and is starting a new week with a moan..!

Darn..maka nya bermula jadual yg padat bekerja sama kumpulan bengongs...sampai i leave for my christmas holidays...! ironically 5 days away when i walk in today like i had never left this place..!my head is spinning and am bombarded by complains and complains and it's only 8.22am on a monday morning!!

God please help to breath and to survive the month of december...!

fudnotes:  i realise too that i can't drive too long ...espeacially when it's not my own car...and the sun is burning my eyes..!Never again!!.

13 November

I am being blessed and remembering of who my CREATOR is....

and knowing how sad it might be to have your subjects stray away from You and always complainning about the bullshit life we're going through

I am blessed to know that i am LOVED by lots...and is in lots of people's heart....(i always wondered do people think of me often?)

sometimes i wish for a grand party entrance for my birthday..NOTTTTTTTTTTT... i wish for a quite birthday to share with loves ones and to reflect of what life is suppose to be ...full of abundent blessings! overflowing gifts of life until i don't notice most of them....

the one person i remembered the most today is my mom..! she carried me for 9 months and 10 days...(hence the stuborness in me since before birth...refusing to come out)..and during the 9 months 7 months she was in and out of the hospital with bad morning sickness...and went through hours n hours2 of labour...! i thank God for my mom who brought me to this earth on the 13 of November...!

i wanted to threat myself with shopping spree..! took out my money and went shopping....went to KLCC...isetan mark n spencer..parkson and even zara..! Nike...adidas...i went to zara and saw this nice shirt...! i wanted to try...tanya..."abang, ini ada XL...." only to be answered back in a pondaness voice....tak der kak...sini paling besar L........"cilakas ....nak aku lempang saja dia tu and bakar saja itu kedai...!

i went to al iksan wanted to get the travelling sandle..tiada yg bergaya dan canteks pulak...!! went to parkson again in kajang...couldn't find anything ada try on googles brand baju which i like...! damn cilakas aku udah gumuk!!! tia muat pun XL....!!!

finally with the clock ticking..and with 1k...! i rest my case...and................

when to giant and spend RM21.95

buying:

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....(korang tidak rasa benda2 ini macam cubaan mau membunuh diri saja kah?) *sinki dapur selalu blocked bah..hehehe..........

SO that's it ..how i wanted to spend RM1k of the golden dreams i always wanted to do...!! shop with RM1k on my birthday!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SELF....!!

*i got cupcakes...a song sang by someone...2 iphone pics...half of a real iphone...1 HTC handphone...1 tiket flight (tunggu 0.00) a mangkuk of siput!!...lots of wishes via FB and SMSes...a meal in burger kings...!

I AM BLESSED...!

Without Her i am none..

my mom

a tired grandma who couldn't catch up with her cheeky grandson...!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA!

Dreams and Hopes...!

often i dream and hope to be rich...! "rich" to me is when i can buy anything i want without hasisting...!without asking people..."hey..wat you think about this...?"...sometimes the reasons i ask my closest friends..cos i need you guys to pray about it (ni kes malas mau doa sendiri)

there are lot's of things that i want just because...just because.............

but anyway....maybe it's just hormonal urge....!

can i like get something that people will roll up their eye's and say haiyah..why you need this..! and i will just say i just want it because i want it

Fudnote:how to survive amongst my kabigans who are not gadgets freaks....!susah aku mo hidup!ahaks

....watever....

sememang nya kalau byk perkara tidak mengikut keinginan diri sendiri selepas lama di rancangkan boleh membuat diri ini hanya berkata WATEVER LAH...

dan

ini membuat diri ini tidak lagi mau merancang apa2...dan memikirkan apa rancangan lagi lepas ini..!

this is wat you get when you get to excited and then things are just not going as plan..!

gwe udah MALAS...

note yg menjadi impian: i wanna go away this weekend...but i don't know where...and who with..!can i just follow my heart?more gadgets perhaps..!

Why I hate WEEKENDS (technically) the real story!!

ok i finally remembered to bring my memory card...!(my house laptop just can't update blog or comment!!)don't ask me why... i think i'll let the pics tell you the story of my life during weekends...!!

Friday Morning...!

Brownies cik lahongs..!

Still on friday morning...!!

Mee sedaps goreng + Maggie Kari with aksesories..!

 Saturday evenings...!

 Mary's Lamb Chops...(so cruel this name) notice the coke light? atleast ada kesedaran utk kasi kurang

Sunday's Evening

 Mee Bandungs org Muar !

All the pictures had been resize so that you all won't be drooling on your computers keyboards...!! so i guess i pack up 6kg during the weekend instead of 6 packs that i wanted....! this were the main dishes ya....i had lot's of side lines in between...!! oh darn..!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING JANEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee...!! Guess I'm just having FUN with my life...!..ahhhhhhhhhhh..the wonders of food that can do wonderfull things to your mind and destroy your body....!

dy, tis is wat i bought....came to realise that it matches my rice cooker....hehehe..hopefully i will use it again sometime...thanks dy for the consultations...!! look at the end product...!! it's Depa-vali k..! so it's a little black ehehe...!

actually there was a mishap...hehehe..i didn't know you are Not suppose to bake with 250celcius hehehe...!! (patut lah bau hangit!!!) but it was saved in time...!!if you want to know how it taste like...ask cik lahongs..! these brownies belongs to her..!(oh ya i improvise the ready mix actually adding milk, cadbury chocs..and almonds...!)

Yippey yeay notes:Kabigans the count down has started....!! I think we have to have meetings about our next year trips k...!!

I Hate WEEKENDS (technically)

I really hate weekends so much....!!

esok lah cerita k...today forgot memory card niko so no pics to share...!

Nota hati yg tidak malu: Berat gwe udah naik..!tapi aku suspek sebab rambut aku udah panjang...it contributes to my weight gain...

Life investment...

 I still don't know what i want to do and what to do.....

But all i know is...I am sick and tired of this low life work and place that is filled with unscrupulouse people who i think have brains smaller than a brain of a prawn (if prawns have brains that is) i just want to vommit thinking of my work place...!!

 This sunset's were taken during my trip back recently and i was on the way to the airport for my flight...as i look back from the car....there was an awesome sky......i almost cried missing the life that i would miss....my family ....my house...the place i grew up were everybody knows everybody...!where you could just sit at the coffee shops and re order stuffs and people couldn't careless...!

last nite as i sit down and think of my bloody future...i decided to do something with my life before this year ends....once someone told me...try first and if you don't succeed atleast you tried...! so in this two months i am gonna try some "stupid" things...daring things..!! and JUMP!!!

i'm gonna invest on my buddy..NIKOLAUS...!! and somemore things...! Atleast i try...!!!

i certainly hope it works (hearing : I wanna be a billionare..! so freakin bad in my ears right now...)

I started baking...!Roasting....!steaming....!dieting....!EATING....!crying...!! and i still don't feel right...!! so now i will bow my head and kneel down and pray...! and Do things hopefully God permits me...!

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE around me...!

Life investment is investing in God's kingdom! (yes i know but i still lack it)

fudnote: I just only purchase a life insurance...! And I feel protected! LOL

Pie-ing on a foggy day...

Kepada kengkawan yang bekerja di kementerian Heath ni ...sila lah bagitau bila mo buat fogging sila lah buat pengumuman dulu...! Yesterday they had fogging at my place...all the rush for nothing...i rush home so pump up to bake yesterday....ada jg sms satu org tapi dia teda balas...so makan sorang2 lah nampak nya...! was in the midst of boiling my potatoes when suddenly there was sound of fog machines (is that wat you call them) and suddenly my place was full of fog!!! had to shut everything close all windows....i waited for the fog and fumes to die down then started my project again...



Muahhhhhhhhhahahahhahaa................. BURPS...!

SPEECHLESS ONCE MORE..!

Tiredness that pays...!

my body is still adjusting with the culture and weather hahaha...! had a busy weekend...covering hakim's wedding ...
it was a wild shoot out....we rush to malacca from work because we were told that akad nikah was at 7.30pm....we left the office at 5.45pm...had to stall a little while because mr Stich..!! hehehehe..bahar my new partner in crime...couldn't find his memory card...!! Without a memory card a photog is like a a paralyze man..! he search high and low..and couldn't find...no time to waste we had to rush...so we decided he using my memory card and shooting alone...! luckily Hakim had a spare and he took his camera to melaka too..! so that was settle..but the whole way from bangi to melaka..traffic was like hell..!! but we got there just in time when the tok kadi came...! kesian mamat sorang terpaksa tahan kencing the whole way...!we were with 2 pairs of battery only for our flash gun..!(wanted to stop by petronas but didn't have time)..note to self and partner...get ready stuffs way before hand hehehe..!
after everything was finish that nite..! adalah mamat sorang ni found out his wallet went missing..!! haiyo..! sudah lah card hilang wallet pun hilang..! we search for the wallet and found the memory card in geri..!! isk..isk..isk..!! went back to the pengantin's house to search for wallet..! didn't find it.... then rasa mau lempang saja tu org..! his wallet was in his bag!!!!!!!!! haishhhhh...!!!!!!!

after all the comotion we decided to look for a hotel...(jgn salah sangka bah gou...kami check in dua bilik bah...)thanks anyway of being panic..!!we had to turn up the next morning at 9am....it was an adventures drive lah looking for cheap hotels ...!! ok lah sambung lain kali lah ..idea sudah hilang..!tata

sekali skala tunjuk gambar sendir lah...can? hahaha..!!Muka serabai...!!
i like my new toys..!!