opis ku yg baru...

can't say it's my new office...sudut yang baru hehehe...masih lagi setia with the sofa...so kira meja pun bau baru lagi lah...tetiba tiada cerita mo kasi cerita tentang this new place cos nothing....:P

I am going off for my holiday with my parents in 2 days...terus aku merasa sangat nerbes...tia tau knp! but hmmm it will be the first time we go on a trip overseas together...and kali ni memang tidak ada preparation.I kinda want them to feel and know how we travel.we will be embarking on our journey on wednesday.bet it'll be fun running with both of them across the busy traffic...!! yeayy!! can't wait...still thinking should i bring my tripod or not....supaya boleh juga bergambar bertiga....

Selamat Hari Gawai & Kemaatan !!!

My New Sawah Padi....

 this is my new office...office yg bukan office sebab tunggu renovation...yg entah bila...
so for now this humble sofa is currently my work station now....boleh caya

hmm..selepas dapat bilik sorang terus tinggal dapat sofa..terus rasa mo baring saja tido...tapi apa boleh buat..my first impression about this new place is hmm..sempoi...!

but haven't got the hang of wat i am suppose to do yet...macam byk tentang financial and building saja...
i hope the staffs wouldn't bully me...most of the people here are RA's budak2 lagi....cuma 2 makciks who are not that old...who are my staffs...so far i am sharing room with them meja dan kerusi pun belum sampai...hope boleh sampai today...most of the lecturers here are my lecturers when i was studying...terus terasa macam masa study dulu...

oh ya last nite i had a blast hanging out with kengkawan2 yg konon nya makan seperti tiada hari esok...!smua order bottomless...ada org yg hebat siap minum smua flavour lagi..mesti perut kembunggggggggg.....!

updated day 2:

day 2 petang...upgrade sikit sebab dapat kerusi...so share lah table dengan staff...!hmm tak per lah janji bahagia...rasa rest period selepas bertungkus lumus kerja tempat lama

they bid me farewell...

I finally finish with my packing up today...i was having a mix feelin because it has only kick in that i am moving...

as i glance back at my empty office before i lock it for the last time..i was having a sad feeling in my heart....gotta admit that this place had thought me lot's about life...about faith...about myself...

and today a bunch of friends from the office had a surprise farewell party for my...

i was dumb struck but being me...org kebal di depan org office i didn't show any emotion... but deep inside my heart i was touch...

they had a cake for me too...

 i didn't want to read it then..only read it after i came home...

hmm...the words as if really telling the journey of my life the whole of 4 years in this office....

 memang selalu buat muka brutal...

 camwhoring with aiyis....*muka budak yg buat deq saja...

Friends with their families....they are the people that makes me keep on everytime i am down in the office..my lunch and breakfast mates....lepas ni durang kena cari driver lain  :P

(barisan depan:Dr Faidzul (Mas's husband,Mas,Ayish,Alysha,Zeti(akmal's wife) with Airis.

barisan belakang: Akim,danish,kak jun(tuan rmh),Amy,Dyana,Jeng,akmal)

this is a present given by 3 of my staff under a department....we just gotta hang off each other since February...i was trainning them..but then i was asked to move...hmm thanks guys..was just getting to perfecting things...oh well hope they survive this whole month without me..:P

heartnote:another chapter has end...and a new chapter begins tomorow...Lord...please be kind to me...

Finally the Last Day is here

Finally the day has come for me to leave....why is it so hard?after i have always wished to get out of this place...finally i have a chance to leave...today i will hand over these things...

I will continue my journey in learning more things....and this place has cost me to stumble ...but i have learn lot's in my 4 years..it has been a life long journey..learning about myself and things that i can or couldn't do...most of all i learn about my faith...i have been spat at...heart have been rip...have been slap at....but i know i did what i have to do....Thank You God for getting me through this place...i finally graduated from this Rehab...the rest are still in the same place as they are cos they never learn..they never want to learn...and never will learn....i think it's time to give up and leave....

heartnote:Tuhan...tolong lah aku mana aku pergi...

Lazy and Disasterous Sunday morning...!

aduh...andainya ku dapat rewind hidup ini...!!

sometimes we do things without thinking of the circumtanses...but when it is over we will regret what we did.....KNP???? WHYYYYYYYYYY............

ada penyesalan tapi hmm tiapalah bukan selalu..?? ( macam selalu saja kan perkataan ini keluar???) aduh....

i think it's the hormons...of the stress..the feelins....or the nervouseness in me...the mix feelin...

knp ah benda2 yang kita mau sungguh..sungguh...sungguh..tapi bila kena bagi...kita stop and think pulak...betul kah tindakkan ni betul kah apa aku buat ni ...??? hmm wat ever it is ...mesti terus maju kedepan kan....

aduh jauh sudah lari dari topik ni....sebenarnya tadi pagi...eh bukan dari mlm tadi sudah menyesal tapi buat juga...ni lah ....the heart is strong but the body is weak :P.. al kisah nya almost mdnite last nite i ordered delivery McD hehehehe....order dua meal lagi tu...( kesian bah delivery boy datang jauh2 hantar satu saja hahahaa....) mlm tadi struggle utk tahan diri supaya tidak habis kan 2 set meal tu hehehe...so tis morning bangun...gara2 terlampau byk tgk AFC & TLC...i came up with a new recipe..

aduh....terus terasa perut naik 3 inci ooo....dem dem dem...knp lah makan tadi ah....fries sama chicken spicy top on with cheese hehehe...and chili sauce....!! try it k...hehehe...tia sabar mo tunggu cheese melt terus makan hehehee.....


aduh...k after this lah akan bersenam sudah hehehe...maybe perasaan takut deep inside kan...!! i really don't know how my life is headed...sungguh peliks lah manusia ni...what you always wish for suddenly come true terus nerbes....

mungkinkan ni perasaan seperti org yg mau kawin...tunggu2 planning2 last2 tiba hari itu terus ada jitters..!!

heartnote: God, i don't know where i am headed it's a new highway...please hold my hand tight..even if it'll hurt my joints!!

a day with Mr Shredder on a saturday morning...

it had to be done this way.....

after more then 3 years 10 months end of next week i will be walking out of this small aquarium i display myself for 8am to 5.30pm everyday on a weekday....

after just clearing one of my drawers i realise how much rubbish i have been keeping all these years....

didn't get to do much because haven't decide wether i wanna keep them or give to somebody else...still on undecisive mode....rasa nya shred aja smua kan...?

spend 1 hour saja shredding...ada rasa sedih juga la...so much have been accomplished but all gone in vain...org tia appreciate...

p/s nasib baik ada org sudi belanja ikan dan sotong bakar for lunch ehheeh...terus mood pun ok sikit..thanks ya...!:P

heartnote:kalau org buat jahat sama kita knp kita tia boleh balas??



When God give....

it's official..

i am moving on 23rd May 2011 to a new office....

Heartnote:why is it when you are at a point that you don't want what you had always wanted..then God give it to you?

and finally it rains....

this few days have been on oven mode...u are ritterally steaming....i am tempted to do some sun cooking...hehe.maybe i will sun dry some tomatoes and some vege....:P..yesterday while at lunch my friends goble their lunch meal...i drank 1 large diet coke and another large ordinary coke (don't know why i bother ordering the diet one)and one sundae.....that is how much the hot weather can effect you..!!!

on the way home from work..it was so so hot...and i remembered my mom melon soup...!!! so i rush to get me a melon and otw home it rained....at first just a few tears then it rain heavily...!! i just wanted to dance in the rain...!!(but with all this rumours of acid rain and all killed my joy)....thank You GOD...You indeed knows when and what to give at the right time and the precise moment...!

heartnote: wonder what will You do next?

another laksa fix but this time with my bestie!

saturday early morning woke up a little late..but just wanted to have a fix of my laksa.....had to go to market to look for this special herb that make it great!!...

 thanks to my new weekend driver...(proud ooo finally!!!) we went to the market....
came home and made my stock...and i tot i made the best stock i ever made.....

 my driver cum chicken shredderer did a good job.....

 compiling the master piece....

 yeah yeah i know ...byk kan? heehe but i like it ...!

 this is the best thing about cooking yourself,.....size boleh ikut kebesaran badan hehee....

 boleh buat regular....dan large or extra large......i price the small one RM6 and the big one RM25 hehehehhee

oh how i miss being back home that foods of the heart are easy access...!!!

A simple Soup...

I've been missing some taste that i use to taste....

yesterday i tasted a soup that reminded me of "who" i use to be....

and i was overwelm..

Do you know the feeling of lost...and suddently when you find something that reminds you of who you really are or was...it's a funny feeling or maybe an insane one....i remembered a taste that always made me happy when i was studying in uni days....i call my Uni days...days of insanity...if i look back i really feel those days where in dreams...it was not real...everything was not real...things we did...things we encountered...

back to the soup...

i was so stressed out yesterday that i was looking for a taste to sooth me...(yeah i know i knw everything must be about food..) i had a bad day at the office infact in a meeting yesterday where i kinda felt everything was wrong and that everything was blammed on me...(sampai air terlampau manis pun salah pegawai ker??) but anyway as i am always good at..but muka slamber...muka no feelin..and i smiled...

so i left the office with a heart of destruction...but anyway..went and wanted a taste that i remembered...after searching i went back home and cook up a soup...when i tasted it...i was struck dumb it was that taste...the taste that reminded me...who i was...i was a person..a person that was happy go lucky...everything anything i would do.....without fail..without any hessistation...

i actually did a dip for my chicken...it's a home recipe my mom always-always make if got a family gathering....she send me some herbs...i don't know what it is call .....and i made this..:

 slicing of onion and fresh  herbs...

 add young ginger

 oystersauce,kicap and hot boiling sesame oil 

walahhhhhhhhhh....yummie...aduhs terus tetiba spoil ini post kan....terus menjadi post recipe pulak...dem

herbs..tia tau nama...hehehe...courtesy of mister google....

heartnote: trying to remember the real taste of life....the real life...

Hidup ini perlu diteruskan

Jam: 4.00am
Tarikh: 3 Mei 2011
tempat:bilik tidur ku...

selepas bertungkus lumus membuat minit mesyuarat selama 1 jam....otak ku sudah "jammed"...ini bukan kerana rajin...ini kerana terpaksa...kalau ikut hati...bagus buang dalam tong sampah....

mula2 rasa best blog dalam BM tapi tiba2 rasa best pulak cakap BI...so switch lah ah...

I know this is last minute...i should have done it 3 days ago...i had 3 days off....saturday,sunday and monday...but i didn't do it...and know i am like burning emergency oil (instead of midnight)...gotta have this done by today....but i thank God i had 3 days of rest...of doing nothing at all...(some may say boring....but i say it is a rest) i really needed the rest before going off to "war" again today for another week....I hope this week treat me kind....! for i am at a brink of breaking into pieces already...(byk betul mo buat..tapi tangan ada dua saja dan otak ada satu saja...mana mungkin boleh fikir smua benda)...i gotta to complete everything before i get the official letter....so kawan2 sila bear with me ok...i just can't think of anything else other then work from now...!(tetiba jantung berdebar dengan sungguh kencang)

sometimes life is funny...when you always wish for something..then suddenly it is almost reality...you suddenly stop and start to think....is this really for real???is this a good move?the feelin of uncertainty suddenly overcomes...!!!how can i think of other things when i myself is uncertain what i may face....! (tetiba byk soalan yg org tanya2 ni membuat hati panas...!!!!)
i got a sms from my niece yesterday about a college offer...(college yg tidak pernah dengar nama nya)...and said she already got a ticket here tomorow...i almost collapse...apa ni...apasal buat keputusan macam ni...! (i know i know ini ada tidak releven....) but just want to connect with what i am facing this few days....macam mana boleh nasihat org lain bila sendiri pun goyah...!!! sendiri pun tidak dapat fikir untuk diri sendiri...???

Breath Jane...just breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............tetiba anxiety attack!!!...

Tuhan Kau pencipta langit dan Bumi ini...! dan smua nya ada di Tangan Kau...tolonggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s after all this waking up stuff mo buat kerja...just to realise that agenda mesyuarat yg in the pic...is the wrong agenda that i brought home...!thank God i had some of the soft copy that i emailed to myself last friday...so boleh buat sikit2...darn you jane for this foolish mistake!!!!!!!!!

heartnote: I just need a little breather...cos every single feeling is just coming back to me after a week of numbness...a week of not feeling anything...a week of shutting down...this is reality..and reality that i can't cope...!

(ini adalah satu cerita dongeng....lepas smua ini i'll be find..and i'll promise i'll get back to doing what i do best ok..the planner...! can't wait to be my normal self...SUPERJANE...)