Harus Belajar berserah...

i couldn't fine a better way to make the title in English...

i had a really rough today...i had lots to do today lots of decision to make too..big one small one..and fast...i was in a grilling meeting for 5 hours in the evening 3 hours in the morning...and i was tired...i got a letter...:Jadi pemangku pegawai kanan...! when i told a friend she congratulated me...without knowing that i almost walked out of the office feeling so down that this means it came with double work and double pressure..double burden bekerja bersama2 org2 yg buduhs tahap max.. ....
i cried as i read the letter in my office....i was like God i knew this was coming my way when i came back to work at the beginning of the month...i knew my long break was to get ready for this...i myself have no faith in myself in doing this...and i can't cope with it....

But this was only a way that i could just say..I need to just let go and let God...harus berserah..berserah 100%...when He said little faith as big as a mustard seed can move a mountain....tidak ada benda yang melampau batas yang boleh di hadapikan...?

well i said. wrote. type wat ever shits i have to say...but all at last was to realise all i have to do is just let go and LET HIM...(i hope He would be kind to me...)

i am really feeling helpless like when my boots were stuck in the mud in bario...where i was helpless and sinking...but my dad came just the right time and held my arms and pull me out...step by step he taught me how to walk..where to step....i wish i was a child again where when i am in trouble my dad will bail me out...my dad would carry me when i have a fall..

i wish many things....but i must learn to live trusting my God....


Tuhan aku betul2 percaya Kau tau yang terbaik utk aku...dan aku ingin belajar berserah...ajar aku berserah hanya kepada Mu....