Missing the ME in Me...

been having problems at work that it eating me slowly inside...

kinda drop my shield for a little while on friday...

was thinking whether i did wrong to judge hopeless people...and they deserved credit for being courages to show me i suck at being a leader..

a boss...

i smell the rebelling nerve in them on friday...the talk around that went straight to the heart...

i am still thinking of another game plan...and realise that being a leader is a lonely job...

i realise that i have to shield my heart no matter what...

and remind myself i need this job to pay everything i own and to have fun travelling...

must set the feeling..a little girl always ask me when i go visit...:" yoyo' ada mainan ini, kamu ada??"yoyo' ada buku ini, kamu ada?? yoyo' pandai buat donat kamu pandai??"

so i will get to work on monday bearing in my mind....Saya ada degree, kamu ada??? Saya ada bilik sendiri,kamu ada???saya bos kamu..kamu apa??? :P

(i know it's bad but i really think that i've been good for a long time and all has gone to vain)

this morning as i was cleaning the house...i realise that my plant..(the one i gave up hope on)...

when i bought it it was well..until slowly2 one by one the leave whitered....and i gave up on it..

but this morning i realise that there was a sign of LIFE....



I miss my Niko...

i miss being able to take pics that would make me myself cry

I miss being the person that won't be hurt by a simple word ...

i miss being the person that will do things just to make people feel good...

of all I MISS being ME

fudnote: i know that i will never know what YOU instore for me..and why i am walking alone in the desert...but i know YOU are GREAT!

p/s i just did the most stupidos thing...i browse my staffs FB rupanya aku di gelar kafir lagnat...hmmp..it's kinda sad..but God how angry i am with that statement...ajar lah aku mengampuni mereka sebab mereka tidak tau apa mereka buat...please give me strength everyday at work..!guide me..

Bila hidup naik satu tangga pada 13 NOVEMBER

Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam mau balik semula zaman2 baby ni...smua org sayang...semua benda org buatkan...tidak payah byk pikir..mau something nangis saja..and akan diberikan..!makan minum main..bila penat tido..!tapi smua ini tidak mungkin....

zaman dulu2(Cute kan??)

Zaman sekarangs...(masi cute juga kan??)

along the way of life people come and go in my life...mostly touches the heart...and some breaks the heart too....

along the way of life the heart grows stronger...sometimes it's happy...sometimes it is broken into pieces...

and i know the whole of my life is handle by the ONE...!at times i am mad at HIM...at times i am thankfull to HIM...

Most of the time i have forsake HIM...but i know HE will never ever forsake me...!So thank you very much for this life YOU have given...I know the best is yet to come..and the best is instore..!

BIRTHNOTE:God i hope you didn't forget me...i hope you didn't skip my name for my turn...