the closure

this was the sky when the sun set for the last time of 2011....
the feelin inside me are bitter,sweat,sour and salty at the same time...

as i look back at the days of the year 2011 i can't really say i had a bad year cos i had worst...
i spend the last day of the year watching biographies of people that i thought had a good life and can have anything they wanted in life cos they had the money....but all i can say is the grass is always greener the other side...!
i won't imagine that if i had a choice that i would pick to be myself....but i know that there might be people who wants to be me (*ini sungguh menghairankan jika ada)

as i learned this few days it;s up to urself to what you feel...if you choose the path that will make urself sad...then you're going through a rollercoaster of hell...so i am learning step by step to learn to live a grounded life....that is....even though if life is hard...no matter how...by crawling...limping..or even by rolling...you just got to carry on with it...cos time is still on ur side...can't be wishing that you are given more time when you are on your death bed....what ever it is ...learning to go step by step...and living day by day as it is....


there are lots of things that i wanted for last year that i couldn't get it fullfilled until today...it's actually a sad thing....and to see others that are able to have them make life sucks...but then again to see people close to you being able to have some advancement in their life...i should be happy for them...yeah...i am happy and proud of them...as we walk this earth...we are not alone..so nevermind if you could'nt accomplish some things in life...but it's the same when watching people closes to you succeed...

i feel bad of making a new resolution for the new year...as the last one haven't been fullfilled...so i might just bring them forward...

and i might add this:

1.Being grounded...!(i don't really understand this myself) but i want to be grounded in what i do...and in discisions i make....and i know this will require lots of prayers...(*ini saya akui saya tahu selama ni tapi decide to just ignore!!)
2.revising financial abilities...!! ( have to get myself an advisor)

aaaahh..to think about it...i learned lots about myself this 2011...the many abilities that i have...the many disabilities that constrained me too...and as i walk everyday of the year...i met lot's of people that have said less of my presents...and i too met a handfull of people that praises my abilities in doing certain things...this i thank them so much cos it means lots.cos that is what keeps me going everyday....*jadi-next year i will try to appreciate people more....say it with words...cos i think it will give them strength to carry on...


ok well..this is to end the year...! cheers to all...!love you all...~lets live our lives as it is...cos i know there is a GREATER power that plan the road ahead...wishing everybody a new year...and a good year ahead...lets step in the new year with hope !! a new hope...a new faith...and please love yourself more...! Take care...!!!
~HUGS...!