Feeling Outdated when Updated...

Last night after a long long time, I finally had time to spare for dinner with some friends...it has been a while...

the day started great...was a stress free one because the bosses are all away....and the students are on holiday...

but it was tarnished because of one wrong decision...(that's what I think...) but unfortunately because I had to follow the books...a phD student failed .... now I know who it feels when a patient dies in an OT....my fullest respect to surgeons out there...!! you guys have great hearts....!! when everyone said they wanted to postpone and I had to say just proceed...! and the student failed!!! haish.....!! it was like all the specialist were saying don't operate on the patient... and I had to be the one who say proceed and the patient dies....!!! aiyooo! ( hati tak sedap la!)

but oh well just went with the flow and had dinner with the friends...! after chit chatting I realize I was so outdated on various news...that when I asked myself where have I been??? I asked myself too...was this envyness in me?? but I wasn't feeling bitter or any sort...I was just surprise... oh well the earth will still circle the sun everyday...but I was just happy some friends are doing what they want to do and love to do...I wish I could do that too... but oh well there just ups and downs in life that everyone has to face...after discussing stuffs.. I came to find out that the definition of going on a holiday to me has change...I really want a nice and quite vacation....just wanna sleep in and enjoy my free time...I could see that eyes where staring at me when I said that...guess I am just tired of the life I am living right now...the journey is just too tiring to catch up and I am dying for a slow and just enjoying holiday....

I was being ask of what I want for my birthday this year...I just want  a quite and restful day...as I was driving home alone last night...I suddenly enjoyed the alone time driving round the city....I was alive again I thought to myself...! I don't know why but I would think just spending my time  sitting somewhere and staring at the sea or staring at the stars would be the best thing that I can think off right now....I must be getting old....

this morning as I was sending my nephew to school ...I love the little conversation we have on the way to school....can't deny this little boy thought me a lot about life.....

.I was asking him what he does with his pocket money...he said he bought RM1 keropok lekor...he is given RM2 a day for school...then I ask him how about the other RM1 he said his bff... was thirsty and he bought him a drink....! I ask did he shared it with you ...he replied: It's cheap only RM1 and I have my ribena anyways....tskk tskk tskk...I told him once in a while ok but not everyday you can spend your BFF...he asked me why??I said everyday RM 1, a month would be almost RM30...that's too much...he just sigh and we were silent the whole way...

but as I finish saying that....what is RM1 ...if it makes your BFF happy....I hope this young boy will grow up well ...and be strong as he live his life ...as he walk his path on the journey of life...life would be kind to him ...and at a young age he learn about giving...


heartnote: Just tired of life in a fast track....I just need some slowing down to do.....