Tired...not of life...but of what life gives you...

Guess it's a normal thing to feel tired at times...whether it's physical...or mentally...i try not to complain too much about this life...but just to say that sometimes life challenges just really makes ones tired...i think it must come with age too...now i just complain less..and even stop complaining to anyone...and it makes me realize that all this while when i communicate it is based on complain...when i complain less...i tend to speak less...and i realize that it ends up that i have nothing to say to anybody...and it is like living in a cocoon...

and i realize that i have less topic to talk to anyone else...even to friends who are very close...and it causes a further gap between us....

i will say that at times i feel that i am helpless...and when i need to help someone or do something for someone it makes me extra tired...but i realize that sometimes it is ok to just let go...but it is different when you want to help and to when people expect you to do...when you are shouldering heavy responsibility you realize that you need to be extra strong .. I learn that from little things you do,..leads to bigger things..so how can you  survive doing bigger things if smaller things you can't do..? so i realize that it is the smaller things that make you stronger...! makes you ready for everything...

i am struggling to write this because i kinda think that if in malay it sounds better....jika perkara kecil kau tak leh buat...macam mana nak buat benda besar?

so i now know why in "younger" days why God brought me to be faithful doing little things...little things like Driving people around...doing little petty stuffs...waiting for people...meeting people...giving little things....making people more important than life then...!

Now i realize that after all that....now...is the real thingy...when you are given responsibility of life...of doing things bigger..more important....after all that it makes me strong now.. and i am able to preservere  without the help of anyone....

i am just tired..and need refueling...and just need some rest...and no one will understand until ones have gone through the road...

Note from the heart : Life is never easy...Life is never too heart to take your life...!! so just preservere.