I have been writing stuffs on my blog without posting it....everytime i start typing i will be interrupted and i didn't finish the post....or sometimes after typing i feel that it's kinda personal so i didn't post it...i kinda miss life writing here...cos it keeps me alive!! it keep the memories alive too...everytime i need some boost i will rekindle things i have done and gone through....
from the beginning of the year life has been like juggling on a thin wire trying to get through each day at a time...and the race of the marathon of life since endless...running aimlessly constantly thinking "What the heck am i doing this???" ( the same feeling when running a real marathon- i get the feeling why the heck am i doing this??)
i guest some things change...perceptions changed....priorities changed too...motive of life changed too....
Juggling with work and family life and a little of social life...it seems that time just gone by like a dash of lightning....sometimes i am just lost in my own zone not realizing that everyday goes by fast..really fast....(sometimes i wish i have superpowers to just stop time...or just make it slower so i can think!!)
work is ...
work is still work....it keeps the fuel in the car running....it keeps food in my tummy...and it buys me clothes on my back! so why should i be complaining...but it really take the life out of me...i recently didn't get the promotion that i so desired!! but anyway it was given to 2 of the people i consider as friends...so it's fine...
i dealt the the rejection letter but i couldn't stand the pityness that people around me gave...! that was the hardest to deal with....it made me sad...people at my work place asking me are you ok?? Are you ok with the result?? ( I WAS ACTUALLY FINE BEFORE YOU ASKED!!!)...so now everyday at work i keep telling myself...i am happy with where i am or i should be !! My time will come..or if it doesn't it's ok...it's fine...i realize how important of having a quality time rather then stuck at the desk...as you may know now..people at work are just too dependent on me ( i don't know why???) this makes me feel sick !!!
but anyway..everything is gonna be fine!
my mind change when i saw this, https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151613160996984 this morning...i should remember everytime i complain about getting thru a hard day....
oh well it's just great to be alive...i read about clarity here... http://forteebello.com/2014/03/14/the-day-i-stopped-asking-god-for-clarity/ and it simply gave me a different dimention of clarity...i often ask God why ...why and is still asking why.... sometimes i realize that when things are though and you are stuck with your religion ....it tends to make you either fall in a pit or make you stronger....!
i am planning in my head a great holiday..and adventure...where i don't need to worry about stuffs...and don't need to worry about people too...i really wanna a break...cos i am tired!! i think i really need it...
Fudnote: Life is Fine....as long as you want it to be fine!
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