When we die...

Birth is always a thing to be joyous and be happy...

Death...

Should also be a joyous thing because it's going home to where we belong ..to our Father's house...

but it is us that are left behind that have trouble letting go...

From dust we come...to dust we go....

Dear Tepu....
I wished that you had waited for me...
I am sorry it took me thousands of reason not to see you sooner...I hesitated...I thought too much....I counted in my head a hundred time on how much it would cost to fly to see you...and I finally decided to fly to see you ...I am too late....

I told myself that I gave bid my last farewell to you when I shook ur hand in pa umor...I told myself I was sorry if anything happened to you I won't be flying back...but I said it in my heart and didn't tell you...last Sunday I finally decided...I finally didn't care about everthing buy now it's too late..I prayed everyday that you would get better...until this evening when I knew you were suffering I prayed that God take ur suffering away...and just take you home to Him...and now you are with Him..and I know the trumpets of heaven is playing to welcome you home...you have run a good race and you have reach the finished line...Victory is yours Tepu...I bid you farewell...Rest now...For your pain is gone...

#blameitontimingandstupidmindbutalliswell
*pic was his hand holding Tepu decurs hand...till death part them...

It's the year 2016...

it's a new year... and i am just greatful that everyone is healthy and well and alive....


2015 was a tough year to ride...but it ended well...2015 i had to make most of the difficult decisions in life...but am grateful that i made those decisions...and 2016 is the year i sow because of those decisions made...may it be more debt..more things to pay..but i think the year 2016 will be the year i place my utmost hope in Him...i don't know how i will go through the year...but i know if i trust in Him..and hold tight on Him i will be able....

i just came back from Bario after 10 days there...and that 10 days once again really made me remember how i must be faithfull and really trust Him no matter what...I learned that once again i will have to learn to trust Him in everything i do... And how simple our faith is..how thin i mean...there was one day when i really hope God would not make the day rain...and it rained hard...i really sat down and just cried!!!i had not cried like that for so long...we had an important Day that day...and we prayed for good weather...but it rained as hard it could get...and of all the day that day we didn't have water in Pa umor...i had to take my shower in the rain....(i think the reason it rained cos we had to shower)... and that night too was the first time after so long i walked home to Pa ukat at night... I had 1000 things to complain about..but i realized that i just had to trust Him..and just be well...

I carried a few "buan" of padi everyday from the padi field to the house...and made me realise how much sacrifices my grandparents and parents had done..to put food on our table to eat...how hard it was for them...how heavy loads they carry...i didn't need to do that... but i was the youngest among them in the field...i couldn't just let my aunty who was 70 years all carry the loads...i carried till my back couldn't stand.. but i had no right to complain...but i thank God i didn't hurt my back...i realised that life wasn't as hard if you really try and just preserver...

So this 2016

I think i am gonna be more laid back...more relax...and enjoy more...this year one of my gold is to renovate the Miri House..finally got to called it my House!! or rather Home...i am gonna spend more time flying back to miri more often this year...spend more time with the old folks...everyone is getting older...so i just wanna spend more time while we have time left...

i am gonna pay less attention to work this year..i have done enough...i will just do whatever need and nothing more...

HOPE EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD... LET"S DO MORE TRUSTING AND MORE HOPE IN HIM...!!