Please tell me what to do?

i wish i was on the mountains now and looking at this...
i so want to cry right now...and i don't know what this feelin is...? maybe like what kukuanga said ...maybe we're just under a spell...damn this black magic..!!!mengacau jiwa dan hati...kejap hati berdebar2...sekejap hati rapuh...!!

SangPemimpi utk 2 hari seems to much for me....sekarang aku udah head over heels...and i know itu salah..!!

(gila sudah sampai download ebook...lepas ni pulak the next book....)
Heartsfelt: I am missing a part of my heart right now...

it's just life....

it's just life...no matter what life just goes on day by day....

i was listening to a song this morning when i woke up...Give me Jesus...which was posted by abi in his FB....suddenly came to think about that's all one need in their life...kan? peliks kan...i seldom post about my faith in respect to everyone who reads this blog....but yeah everyone just need a pillar in their life to carry on...

but right now all i need is my Jesus.....

i am just falling and drowning in life now....it's another time again where everything is just wrong....and i am down and wanna just get out...i just can't wait when i can see everything clearly again when i can see the sunrise,sunset,rainbow and be just awed....


i know this feelin is temporary...but it's just hard right now...

p/s but i knw that God has been great....in times like this He sents angels to be with me...! togs thanks for relentlessly hearing me complainning about people at work...(i so love the time we drive round2 my office hunting for the vampire to come out hahahaha)

now glams is with me for a week...!! yeay...! !!

I want a Heart of stone..!

it feels like sitting on a cliff just looking at the world...the wild world around me...waiting just waiting for the next strike of any beast out there...feels everyday i have to try to survive...try to not care what rumours and whining of people around me....

God...
I need You

God
I need strength

God
I need preserverence

God
I am about to give up....

I really...really hate this place...i hate the people that comes with it...i hate the culture...and the hatred is getting to me..!

futnote: Tuhan kirim kan lah aku hati batu supaya aku boleh bertahan...!

Kurang semangat...! AKU HEBAT!!!

there's a feelin of wanting to cry lingering in my heart....it's a painfull feelin..! tapi i know i just have to get on with life as it is...I can do all things with God with me kan? (sure Tuhan masih sayang?)

i just got a memo that bertambah beban kerja...! byk gila2..sampai staffs pun tanya boleh ker bos? (sejak tau durang under me baru ada hati panggil bos..cilaka punya staffs)..
sekarang aku ni macam gila kuasa smua aku kena buat...damn damn damn
dulu satu bahagian sekarang ni macam 3 bahagian..!! shishhhhhhhhsssssss...!..aku ingat naik gunung susah...rupanya turun dari gunung ada lagi benda yang susah...!! %$^@#@#~!?!!!!

pegawai satu tu jaga satu benda and benda itu senang...!! (apa lagi aku mo cakap!!!???)

mo nangis pun ada...mo berlagak hebat pun ada....!smua perasan pun ada...mo bunuh diri pun ada..mo buat tidak kisah pun ada...!! Tuhan jaidkan lah aku superheroin...!! jadi kan lah aku hebat sehebat nya...!! tapi apart from that...aku pun bisa rasa sedih dan mo menangis....!!

(as i am writing this my eyes are swelling with tears...)

tapi apa juga kan nothing is impossible...!biar lah byk2 bagi kan ...aku kasi biar saja lah kan ..! let's be positive..! let's be a winner..! (cheh ketara betul berpura2) biar lah ..! aku mo berlagak ..berlagak aku ok..!!

lepas ni aku pun teda kawan sudah di ofis..so looks like i am all alone sudah ni...! biar lah ..! hidup ini perlu di teruskan walau bagaimana pun kan...! p mampus lah org2 sini ..!!!ambil kesempatan lah byk2...tiapalah...! korang kumpul2 lah kebahagiaan sekarang...!! biar lah biarlah...!! aku mo p back packing..!! lantak koranglah..! i'm gona have fun...(w/pun teda duit..aku blasah saja)
kalo apa2 jadi kat aku harap aku jadi hantu kacau2 durang masa durang tido...(i know i know ni bodoh..!! tapi salah kah aku marah)

ok sudah lah ...byk cakap byk dosa...!!aku tau aku hebat..itu lah korang pilih aku buat byk kerja..!! AKU HEBAT..!!!

fudnote:CILAKA org2 ni...biar lah sekarang aku tanggung berat..mati nanti korang tanggung lebih berat...!!