When we think what is good doesn't mean things will be better....

As I was driving to work this morning...I realize the authority has improvise to improve the traffic flow of the lane opposite my journey to work...I always boast that I am always against traffic flow and I love it...!
but ever since they open an extra lane for the opposite direction and meaning that the lanes of my direction become a 2 lane instead of 3...and it causes a slight heavy flow of traffic my way....

Life decisions are hard...sometimes you think that you are making life easier for you it might cause other people to be burdened... and sometimes you think that you are helping others but without realizing u are burdening yourself at the same time....

I love the journey to work and home....as I can ponder upon life and have a real quality time by myself and sometimes having quality talk time with Him...

as we live our life in the track that we are on....there will be lot's of decision we have to make...some easy...and some hard as well...and sometimes we hit the wall and don't seem to understand what happen!!...but above all....whatever we do we do it in the Name of HIM and we hope for the best....it's how we see life ....how we interpret it....to me life is hard...life is miserable (Now that is)...but it's the matter of how you see it....right now I see going to work as if it's a life saving journey...so everyday I wake up  I will say to myself if you don't go to work and solve something today someone will DIE!!!!....

as the busy-ness of life take over...I find myself more conservative...less laughing at silly jokes...easily irritated by stupid and simple things....maybe it's a sign of needing a holiday badly...I really need a day off from everything but then again...I am a life saver...:p... and I have to work!!

oh well all is GOOD!!!

The Chan's Siblings....

My Mom just had a blast reunion with her siblings in Goldcoast recently....this was a rare occasion where all siblings were there....it has been almost 7 years since they got together...the  last time they got together was for my granddad's funeral.....

  there are 9 all together... 3  boys and 6 gals.....kudos to my grandparents being able to raise such wonderful and bright children....
mom was saying it's a good thing to come together for a good occasion....by the way they were all in goldcoast for my cousin's wedding and my uncle big 60 Birthday...

these are the younger generation....cousins and niece....!!

I missed this occasion but just being able to see pics made me so so cherish time with the family....and I thank God for being wonderful to us all the time every time....

Back From Below the Wind....

I went away for short break away to the land below the wind...and the land of my kaibigans....it was rather a place i call home away from home......the last time i was there was like 2 years ago...and it has been a long time....didn't do much but just rest... hang out....eat...drink and being merry....

it has been a long long time since all of us were together...and this was really one of the first few times that i am there during working hours...the only problem that i face was a sore-sore back...before i went up the plane i had my treatment with Dr Janice...and then she did the activator method...(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activator_technique ) and for the next 2 days after the flight my body was feeling so sore like i was just ran over a lorry...but i was glad to just lie down flat....

i had a chance to meet most of kabigans and got into contact with some friends...
i realize that at our age...my friends and i are really facing the young executive life...we work hard when we work....we play hard when we play...but along the way things happened and as life is in the fast phase we just miss the beauty of the world and life along the path...

the next time i am in sabah i would really like to go to the island to just lay on the beach beside the sea listening to the strong wave hitting the shore...or just sit by the esplanade and looking out to the horizon.....my regret of being in sabah and not going to the beach....

but i thank God for being able to spend time with friends..and being able to make time for HIM too...

Heartnote: to know who you are amongst your friends is important....and mostly to know who you are to yourself and who your God is....

Hoping for the best....

finally got a chance to take your's truly in my latest favorite costume....

Can i just skip work today.....SIMPLY!

Waking up after the 4th snooze of my phone alarm today....and today is really not a good day to mess with me ..!! i wish i can just sleep in today and not doing anything accept waking up to eat and go toilet....!! but oh well reality is never fun to face....! i just simply wish that going to work was fun...maybe i should have a fancy dress day in my office...(Definitely will NOT happen in my work place......) people here are simply busy doing nothing....gossiping ...talking bad about anybody anything anyone!!! and simply too busy to just say hi.....! if you're thinking why am i even blogging instead of working ...I am just not in the mood to work...but will go full blast after this....!

I am sitting in a boring viva and after this I will be going for my treatment...treatment time somehow is my time off time...that I can relax....

my little elephant.....

 miss elephant gone window shopping....

 

this was what strive me to wake up early this morning....

life of a little bug...

i just put my little niece to sleep...as i held her and pat her to sleep...i suddenly realise how precious life is...how we often seek comfort in the hands of people we trust....how we long to be craddle when things happen...and how we long to hear a soft voice saying everythings gonna be alright... i think the meaning of life is what we will never understand...when things are fun and exciting we just just wanna rejoice...but when things are to the down fall and sucks we just feel like ending it now that very second.... but being able to walk thru life seasons one after another takes courage and preseverence...as i sat on the bed with this little warm body....i do have a sad feeling that one day she will too feel the flow of life...of being sad....of being heart broken into pieces...of feeling the unfairness of life...the current of being in a world full of crap...!  but i realise that these feelings will be the stepping stone of one being able to survive..being able to be strong...being able to be more mature...i am not saying that life to me really sucks all the time...i am still learning to take life as it is...and i rather think when life takes you to the deepest valley there is where you learn to appreciate the sun the moon and everything that exist around you...

i am thankfull that when you are at the peak or the top of life...and sometimes things just crashes down....on the way down you realise what you've been missing...and who your true friends are...or even though at times you just can;t stand some people....

as i sat there too i did say a prayer that God would protect this little life ...and as she grow up..He will always be the place that she will find comfort...and when life is uncertain ...she will know that He is the one who holds the future...and all things are possible in Him...

life life life...i wish it was as simple as  a life of a little bug....

Feeling sexy in a Hospital Gown....

Yesterday i had another round of treatment again...this time i had to wear a hospital gown...i couldn't take any pics with me in it cos i took so long to figure out how to wear it hehehe....and after that they strap all the wires on me so just couldn;t move to get my phone...(too bad)

while I was lying helplessly face down with all the wires hook up to my body...and feeling sexy in the hospital gown...(if you guys don't how it look like it's the type you slip in from the front and back is only closed by Velcro....(but I was given a short pants too k) now I know how it feels when people say it gives you a chilly feeling...aircon on...the nurse was kind enough to off the lights... I was thinking it must be hard for people who have serious sickness...it must be scary lying there helpless...

my heart goes out to these people...I don't feel your pain but I feel the feeling...as I lay there I could feel that my eyes were filled with tears ....the coldness of the aircon...and you can even hear the humming of the aircon....the beeping of the machines....indeed when you survive a day of treatment you are the BEST...!! you are Great...!!Stay strong....
people who haven't gone through feelings like these..will never know how it is....

I am bless to be able to have a change to learn new things as I go for treatment now and then....I am bless to be taught to love your body more and take life as it is you last days....enjoy more...love more...see more things...ignore "weird" people...eat more (:P)....rest more...!! learn to not let people stomp on you....learn not to let people take advantage on you....and # learn to drive less hahahhaa....

lifenotes: Living the life of your dreams isn't impossible it's just how you dream it and how realistic is it...!!in my dreams I wanna be a rockstar!! but I can't sing!!