Wish to Chillax...

Sometimes I wish that I could just stop doing everything I am doing right now to just chill and relax....or just find a corner and just sit there to ponder....ever feel that urge to just sit out...time out??? but in real life it's not that easy...
I was on emergency leave yesterday...had a bad flu and head was spinning...back was hurting as well...so I decided to stay home...I was surprise with myself that it was a hard decision to do....!!! (I must be goin crazy)I took me hours to think whether I should stay home or just push myself to the limit and just go to work.....!! but then I realize I have to learn to love my body too...!I can go on pushing myself to the limit..even it was beyond my limit already...as I check my leave statement...this year seem to be my first time seldom take leave...I use to take long leave every 6 months and every month i'll take some days off... I will  try to find time to do that again in this last quarter of the year....must find time and the money to travel again...and get my back fix as soon as possible...( the reason of the set back of costly treatments that burn holes in my pocket...! and i just found out i can't claim)

oh well life is not as bad as it seems...i am still enjoying the family life...and it feels really good doing things for the family..this weekend families are flying over....and it feels great being able to be surrounded with family...cousins...aunties..uncles...i am taking 3 days off to be with them...so can't wait...!! and tomorrow taking the family to a beach picnic with Abi and the family....so it sure will be tones of fun...as we had a great time last weekend picnicking....! can't wait...

life note: Just live the life as it comes...loving the lemonade!!

Staying Focus...

 

Like a child focusing on something and absorbing what they see or hear...and stay focus....

staying focus on something that gives you hope....gives you relieve, give you strength....I was having a hard time focusing on life....was more to just survive the game....was almost disoriented by how life is going .. how being drifted by the waves of things around me....that gives an almost drowning feeling...maybe it's just the weak body... plus the tiredness of the brain ....which made me lost grip of what the purpose of life is...what the main focus is....not just to survive...but to live and be a witness...and to enjoy life as it comes....recently I was talking to someone that was diagnose with cancer...she just knew about it a few weeks ago...she just said " you know what... I am sick...!" then I said jokingly : What's up? flu? headache? backache?... she said .."No...it's cancer.... a moment of silent went by....I didn't know what to say...didn't know how to react....! but then she said I am ok..i am optimistic I will fight this....!! it shook me...and I was like...and all I had was a back pain and I am thinking that life has not been fair to me...

this few days I got my thinking nerve working...:P and I am thankful to have someone to turn to when things get haywire when things goes wrong...I still have someone to turn to...it might not be physical but it helps..

sometimes we may face times where we just wanna jump down the tallest building you can find....but life is not that easy to be able to end like that...but I learned that in whatever we do we put our trust in our Creator...what ever we face we have to grip on to the Savior's hand and really believe that He will provide...and sometimes His provision ways a really awesome...never thought before...this month I learn the hard way about that...never under estimate what God can do...when we think it's impossible He makes it happen....!


Food for thoughts : Believing, Knowing and Trusting is the keyword!!

Maturing as time goes by...

as I got ready for work this morning ...I got a glimpse of mum's small vege patch...the last time I look they were all dying and "malnutritious"...and I thought to myself...though luck..looks like it was not mean to be....but today I was surprise that the vegies were all grown up and ready to be harvest...

it struck to me...whenever there's a feeling of giving up when things are jut not going your way don't lose hope....and just press on...recently there are lots of issues in the office where work is just a truck load...and everyday is a tiring day....where sometimes I feel that I just need to run away somewhere....I might now understand why when you walk near big huge corporate buildings...there seems to be lots of people taking a smoke outside....sometimes you just need some time to breath...

I am stuck in the office with 2 less staffs ...one retired and one her husband just had an artery burst in the head...so I am right now juggling with everything...(enuff said about work)!!

but above all ...I am glad that I still have someone that I can lean on...and hold on too in times I feel that I am drowning....telling me that there is a Greater HOPE,FAITH and LOVE...as time goes by we mature in our thinking....in our faith...and I am not the girl that will go look for something else to drown my sorrows in anymore...we do what we must do...and just hope for the best...

Fudnote: I really need a time away from everything....!! A holiday perhaps

My Acky breaky back...

 as you may know that I am having problems with my back...I was  back in the health center on Thursday....as the back is improving...but sitting too long is still a pain in the ass...!! :P...my back and hips still hurts if I sit too long......I was back in the center for a regular checking whether the back is improved...the Dr did some adjustment here and there.....

rare time of camwhoring in the gown.....

 this is the bench...for almost more the a month I have  been laying on this....and I somehow think that I am addicted to this bench...it makes me hurt and good at the same time...the Dr crack my back in many spots....and use the activator on few spots.... I was fine after the treatment but was sore and being in pain for few days....but now it has improved.....but all is well....and I love going for treatment cos it's a day off for me.....

THank God for technology

When we think what is good doesn't mean things will be better....

As I was driving to work this morning...I realize the authority has improvise to improve the traffic flow of the lane opposite my journey to work...I always boast that I am always against traffic flow and I love it...!
but ever since they open an extra lane for the opposite direction and meaning that the lanes of my direction become a 2 lane instead of 3...and it causes a slight heavy flow of traffic my way....

Life decisions are hard...sometimes you think that you are making life easier for you it might cause other people to be burdened... and sometimes you think that you are helping others but without realizing u are burdening yourself at the same time....

I love the journey to work and home....as I can ponder upon life and have a real quality time by myself and sometimes having quality talk time with Him...

as we live our life in the track that we are on....there will be lot's of decision we have to make...some easy...and some hard as well...and sometimes we hit the wall and don't seem to understand what happen!!...but above all....whatever we do we do it in the Name of HIM and we hope for the best....it's how we see life ....how we interpret it....to me life is hard...life is miserable (Now that is)...but it's the matter of how you see it....right now I see going to work as if it's a life saving journey...so everyday I wake up  I will say to myself if you don't go to work and solve something today someone will DIE!!!!....

as the busy-ness of life take over...I find myself more conservative...less laughing at silly jokes...easily irritated by stupid and simple things....maybe it's a sign of needing a holiday badly...I really need a day off from everything but then again...I am a life saver...:p... and I have to work!!

oh well all is GOOD!!!

The Chan's Siblings....

My Mom just had a blast reunion with her siblings in Goldcoast recently....this was a rare occasion where all siblings were there....it has been almost 7 years since they got together...the  last time they got together was for my granddad's funeral.....

  there are 9 all together... 3  boys and 6 gals.....kudos to my grandparents being able to raise such wonderful and bright children....
mom was saying it's a good thing to come together for a good occasion....by the way they were all in goldcoast for my cousin's wedding and my uncle big 60 Birthday...

these are the younger generation....cousins and niece....!!

I missed this occasion but just being able to see pics made me so so cherish time with the family....and I thank God for being wonderful to us all the time every time....

Back From Below the Wind....

I went away for short break away to the land below the wind...and the land of my kaibigans....it was rather a place i call home away from home......the last time i was there was like 2 years ago...and it has been a long time....didn't do much but just rest... hang out....eat...drink and being merry....

it has been a long long time since all of us were together...and this was really one of the first few times that i am there during working hours...the only problem that i face was a sore-sore back...before i went up the plane i had my treatment with Dr Janice...and then she did the activator method...(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activator_technique ) and for the next 2 days after the flight my body was feeling so sore like i was just ran over a lorry...but i was glad to just lie down flat....

i had a chance to meet most of kabigans and got into contact with some friends...
i realize that at our age...my friends and i are really facing the young executive life...we work hard when we work....we play hard when we play...but along the way things happened and as life is in the fast phase we just miss the beauty of the world and life along the path...

the next time i am in sabah i would really like to go to the island to just lay on the beach beside the sea listening to the strong wave hitting the shore...or just sit by the esplanade and looking out to the horizon.....my regret of being in sabah and not going to the beach....

but i thank God for being able to spend time with friends..and being able to make time for HIM too...

Heartnote: to know who you are amongst your friends is important....and mostly to know who you are to yourself and who your God is....