Need a KitKat...

wishing life had a time off....a time off from everything...a switch that you can off...and you would have a time off from life...and life would be idle...while you lay down and look up at the blue sky...and everything would be OK...you don't have to think of anything...just rest and time would stop for a while...

...I know life must go on as usual...I just need a little break from everything...just for a little while...just for a moment...a moment to catch up my breath...a moment to even breath...

waiting....

i've been sitting here since 9am...it's a waiting game...praying Hard everthing will be OK....
these 2 weeks have been a rocky for the family we lost 3 people related to us...all of them left us in a sudden without warning...but all 3 had medical history...
Last nite we attend a wake of an uncle...He was young and had a son just 10 years old...
Just this morning I was thinking of IF something would happen to someone very dear...
just then otw to work today mom message me asking me if I was free today...you know something is up when ur parents ask u that...
and so now I am still here waiting...

Hati...

There are things that at the beginning we dislike to do...we dread to do it...but as time goes by it becomes a routine and you feel that it's something you are use to do...

The journey of life is full of uncertainty... sometimes you think you got things right...Moses thought he had the right road and in the end took 40 years...

I had a conversation recently with my niece I said let's pray and ask Jesus to help us....she answered...Jesus cannot help He is stuck on the cross at church...it struck me that sometimes we always say we believe God holds everything and we trust Him to give us strenght and show us the way...but why do we still doubt HIM...I am grateful for all the things in life...for all the ups and down...and I am glad for the journey of life with HIM...whom I trust and hope...and I am shock that sometime as we go through hard times in life we tend to bark at people...without knowing we shoot down people...i too now recently learned to just ignore a little people with sharp tongue...yes it hurts a little bit more in the heart...but we'll the wounds will heal...and we learn to move on...

Don't get me wrong...this is just a little rant of the heart...I am living in my prime now...having most of the best things in life... (life is not great) but...I am enjoying it...work life is a hassle...but I enjoy my new profound confidence level...family are a bliss and blessings...love being hugs and missed by the kids even if I step out to go to the market....money is short..but day by day i learn to count my blessings...everything when I reach a roadblock I just laugh it off and say well I have 2 property in my name...well..life has been well because maybe I choose to be well..I choose to do things no matter what people say...well being able to be a blessing is my forte...and makes me happy..not being able to do things for people means I am useless....slowly slowly the Lord unveils....

Tuhan, terima kasih kerana memberi peluang kedua dan ketiga. Tolong kami mengikuti jalan-Mu dan terus taat kepada-Mu.

Love the Outdoor...

Went to a kebun last Saturday with the family...I found a way do distress myself...by going to pick fruits in a fruit garden...despite the nyamuks and hot sun...I still had fun...

been having tones of stress at work with changing of bosses..and staffs..but had a great day distressing...

Selfless vs Selfish...

life is suppose to be selfless and humble...
but when you have been brought up to always be selfless and humble...you tend to live a life...or should I say atleast try to be selfless...
Being Selfless is something someone should work hard on...and sometimes it just end up naturally...and as seems like natural even without noticing it....

Suddenly to be asked by someone (really close) :why are you so selfless...or Too Selfless...

sometime can make person who is selfless to end up to be a selfish person (completely)...it is not known why....but maybe it's like a reflex...like you telling a person all his or her life from the beginning was wrong...

try telling a selfish person the samething...I think the result will be opposite cos a selfish person will never understand why they should change anyway....

so the next time you see someone close to you being so selfless until it may seem it is hurting them please don't discourage...just complement...cos they are already having a hard time without wanting to acknowledge it...it's atleast better to have 1 more selfless person in your life then to add another selfish person...and have a less person who selflessly was your devoted friend....

foodnote:Bila org mau tolong biar mereka tolong aja...sebab mana tau membantu org dia rasa diri dia dibantu...tp jgn pernah ambil kesempatan sebab si kawan itu pun akan ada masa dia letih...Dan akan berhenti...Dan kadangkala bila berhenti itu akan menyebabkan hidup dia hilang pedoman sebab dia sudah tidak tau tujuan hidup dia yg selama ini...Dan ya...Maka kamu hanya hilang sorg sahabat...tp sahabat kamu hilang HIDUP dia...

Nyawa

Pernahkah korang doa supaya Tuhan jangan cabutkan nyawa kau dulu...

today while driving home I felt pressure in the back of my head and felt it would pop...I prayed so hard that God won't take my life there and then...Was not feeling well since Sunday...so it's almost a week...Dr said it was a nasty throat infections...that's why I had fever and my BP was high...mom was panicked too because I almost never get bedridden...so now I am on antibiotics and some pills that makes me groggy most of the time...i finally when to work after 3 days of MC.. but was still high on medication!

baru tau sayang nyawa....baru tau sayang masa...baru tau sayang semua benda yang ada...baru tau sayang diri....

Questioning : If OnLY?? and Why??

Last saturday we were shock to hear the news of an aunty who passed away suddenly...!!and yes she was younger then my parents...
She's an aunty close to the heart since our childhood days....her daughter said there was no sign at all.... she was cooking lunch and then she collapse...and was pronounce dead 11.30pm....

when we heard the news we were exactly going out on a outing together with my parents friends from when they were young and serving together in the same ministry...all i could do was secretly wipe my tears our when we were talking about the aunty....i cannot imagine if it would happen to me....i think i would go hysterically or maybe insane....! but one thing my mom said was.." We should cherish the little time we have together..." we ended up spending the whole day lepaking with the aunties and uncles.....

All i could think of is God please..please give me more time and get me ready for things like these.....!!

I am also praying that i am able to live life to the fullest and have friends who will grow up together with me....we may have different preference or different responsibilities right now.... I pray that God give us time to be able to "lepak" with each other...